AITAH for ignorning from my friend because i think he hates me now?? repost

Hi reddit, I'm kind of a lurker on here most just reading and I only really comment on animal crossing subs (just got into it lol) but i've kind of been losing my mind recently and was hoping for some advice.

okay so i (18 F) and lets call him james (19 M) have been friends for i guess a year and a half. We met through work on our first day we realised we go to the same high school with him being in his final year and the grade above me and we took the same subject and had the same teacher which we bonded over because that teacher would always talk shit about his class to mine and then vice versa. then i would see james sometimes on shifts and we weren't really close then but i enjoyed being around him and then one day no explanation he just stopped coming into work. i didn't have his number or snap or anything so i was kinda bummed because he was a really nice guy and i liked working with him.

anyways so months pass and i kind of assumed we would run into each other at school and i would be able to ask (not that he owed me an explanation or anything) but i never did. then one day i went early into school with my friend and we decided to go wait in the school cafeteria for class to start, we're in the lunch queue and i turn around and james is stood there kind of awkwardly kind of contemplating whether or not he should come up to us and say hi. so instead i go upto him and we start talking and basically he had lost his phone so he couldnt sign up for shifts at work (we have an online calendar system with no direct email just a number to call) and he was gonna get a new phone. and then we both have to get to class so we say our goodbyes and stuff and then my friend says like you shouldve given him your number for when he gets his phone or smt and i was like oh yeah i shouldve. but i mean whatever too late now. so i go to my class which ends up being cancelled and i really dont wanna go to the library (i always feel pressured to sit and study or be productive and it was monday morning not doing that sue me) and the cafeteria was packed so i just decide to go to my next class and sit outside for it to start. im scrolling on my phone on the floor when someone comes out of my class and i look up and its james going to the toilet and i was shocked to see him and he said he saw me through the window. crazy coincidence and its kind of awkward after i explain about my class and then i rememebrr to give him my number. i write it down on a piece of paper and give it to him and then he goes toilet and drops the paper and clumsily picks it up again (it was kind of cute lol). and then i dont see or hear from him again.

months pass AGAIN and i kind of forget all about it when a get a text from an unknown number and its james saying he just got his phone and stuff ( which is kind of crazy i dont know how he kept that piece of paper for so long bcs it was like the size of my thumb??) and then we talk for ages and i give him my socials. and basically we talk everyyyy day for months and on summer break and it was great. he has pretty strict parents so we didnt ever go out but we were talking everyday for so long with midnight talks and we felt so close that i literally told him secrets id never told anyone before.

then school starts up and he goes off to college about an hour away from us not that far and we're still texting but not as much and we'd give each other updates and we'd keep our tiktok streak going (he accidentally broke it when we were at 200 smt days) and everything was great. he would take the train to come back and hang out with me and we'd go out, but then i started noticing whenever we went out he'd always be looking around us almost like he was scared of being caught or embarrassed of being seen with me idk but i tried not to think about it too much. and then suddently he just stopped messaging me or sending me reels and stuff, like he wouldnt ignore my message but itd take him hours to respond when before it would be instant (which isnt his fault i know people are busy and i cant expect him to drop everything to message me back im not trying to complain) and then when i asked him about it he would just say he never texts anyone first which isnt true because he used to text me first all the time?? and whenever i stopped texting we would just go ages without talking or anything apart from tiktok when he woould reply to all the ones i sent and he would send too. then he stopped responding to the tiktoks i sent and sometimes would just like the message but not watch it and he would send me tiktoks but eventually that stopped too and he would send just one to keep the streak alive and itd be like the most random thing like when you first open up the app and its random when i know he spends a lot of time on tiktok because he reposts like three things an hour. and before we would send each other updaates and photos and then now when i send him a photo or reel he'll again just like the message or leave me on seen.

and i guess thats all when i started to feel really insecure about our friendship. we had a tiny fight recently he asked me to watch his favourite anime and i said i would and he didnt believe me because he had watched everything i told him to and i never did for him and i was upset because its like he never listens to me because up until now i had watched everything he asked me to too and i even names everything and instead of acknowledging it he just sent back a tiktok sticker?? that was completely irrelevant to it was a charlie kirk lemon. and i was just really hurt idek why anymore but i was and thats when i just stopped sending him messages and tiktoks in an attention seeking attempt i guess. i think i just wanted to see if he cared about me like i did for him and would notice and ask but he didnt and he just sent the one tiktok a day to keep the streak alive and i would just send stickers back but like the same each time idk.

i think i already know i'm the asshole for being so childish and controlling. i know he doesnt owe me any messages or time or anything and that we have separate lives and hes busier with college and i don't own him and that we're friends not dating but i just thought the friendship meant more to him. i know that i should talk to him about it even though theres nothing really to talk about, its me and my irrational insecurities and im just sabotaging the friendship by doing this and not talking to him about it. i think im just worried that if i bring it up to him he'll confirm my fear that we're not as close as i thought we were and that we're just people that used to be coworkers for like a month. and i dont know why that bothers me so much. any advice to stop being so childish or about the whole situation would be great and really helpful. sorry about the long post. thanks