Struggling with Appearance

I’m a 30-year-old woman who often struggles with my appearance. With how much emphasis there is these days on being polished and “put together,” especially among younger generations, I find it difficult to fully accept how I look.

I used to deal with acne, but I’ve made dietary changes and as I've gotten older, my skin has improved significantly. Even so, growing up as a South Asian woman in the West, I’ve carried long-standing insecurities about my complexion. I tend to be darker-skinned compared to many of my friends and cousins, and I’ve also felt self-conscious about my facial features, like having a smaller face but inheriting my father’s larger nose. Also very hairy, I had a discussion about laser hair removal with a friend who said it's better for people with darker hair and lighter skin tones and may not work on me.

I try to practice gratitude, and my mother often reminds me of that, but it becomes especially hard when it feels like people who fit more conventional beauty standards seem to have an easier time, particularly in areas like marriage and being accepted. I know logically that this shouldn’t define worth, but emotionally it still feels like a barrier that affects how I see myself and my future.

Because of this, I often feel defeated and low. I do use skin tint and makeup to feel more confident, but I also feel exhausted by the need to rely on it every day.

My faith is very important to me, and I believe Allah has created every person perfectly. At the same time, I struggle to internalize that belief when I compare myself to others and feel like certain features are valued more in society and I feel like my life will just be a constant struggle with this.

I’ve tried to be patient and to lean on prayer, and some days that helps. Other days, I feel overwhelmed and frustrated by these feelings.

Any guidance or experience from anyone?