How to control my adult daughter?

Hi everybody, i’m at my wits end here with my 21 year old daughter and i’m looking for advice on how to deal with what’s going on. I’m going to preface that she is on the spectrum (aspergers) which is a contributing factor.

the main issue is she. does. not. listen.

some repeating examples:
-We tell her to not eat other people’s leftovers out of the fridge. she still does
-We tell her not to take other people’s stuff without asking. she still does
-We tell her not to leave the toothpaste in the shower. she still does.

My issue is not knowing at all how to discipline her. If she was 16 i could take away her phone and different privileges… But at 21 that all goes away. I cannot stop her from using her car, or her phone (i could stop paying for it, but that seems extreme for the circumstance) and i can’t put her in time out. what do i do to get through to her! She is a good kid otherwise, doesn’t get in trouble and does exceptionally well in college. It’s just this “not respecting people’s stuff” that is our downfall.

Please give me some advice!