Idk whats wrong with me and my mother

so all my life my mother was a model for me she allways treated me with love i would say i kinda was a spoiled kid but i feel that since i was like 13 something has allways felt off sure she was sweet and good with me but there are things i cant do like paint my nails and she doesent like my hair and sais it i had to study what she wanted me to study and i felt like every single thing she told me was at least a bit wrong i swear it fisically harmed me i felt like there was a gap in my chest and would start hiper ventilatimg and then i would bite or CUT my arms to make that feeling stop and that even if it was just the kind of icecream i liked so i allways did what she said and i still do but i Don’t want to think that she caused it beacuse she really loves me and would do anything for me but idk i just Don’t know what to think anymore i feel like I’m just overreacting on her little comentaris