i miss my dad.

i miss him so much. yet i hate him so much, he SAed me. i just want a dad i think, like a good dad. when i got older we got closer (which is gross because he stopped being attracted to me ig) we would go to home depot, just talk about stuff. he would let me rant about stupid stuff, that if my step mom heard, i would be in a lot of trouble. my step sisters never cleaned the room, he would always step in and make them help. i miss having a father, he was never really good. he would hold me to such a high standard, i couldnt be good enough. i craved for him to say he was proud of me, then i realized he was a sick mf. just like him and my step mom said to me all the time “youre going to hell.” and i hope they are stuck together in hell, because they are perfect for each other. i hate him but i miss him so much.