First gay experience 23M

Okay this is a bit of a long story but I want your opinion

I’m a 23 year old male. I have always thought of myself as straight. But I recently moved out to LA from the Midwest and the distance from home has given me a new sense of freedom. And with that hornless and curiosity.

Last week I bought my first dildo and had the best time. Right after it, I downloaded grindr and started thinking about what the real thing would feel like.

I started talking to some guys to try and feel them out. Eventually I found a guy around my age, had his own place, and to be honest I found him hot. He was maybe the first guy I really found hot. He was tall, black and trim.

As I was talking to him I was telling him how it was my first time. How I wanted to try some stuff out but wasn’t sure I’d be able to go all the way. He said that’s fine and we set a date for that Friday.

As the day approached I flipped from being excited to being scared to be just so horny. The day of I was a bit nervous, so I smoked and drank a bit. I had a pretty good buzz by the time I texted him saying I was on my way.

When I first saw him across the street, I was happy to see he looked just like his photos. He led me up the steps and into his place. We made some small talk but it was pretty quiet.

His place was darkly lit. I asked if he wanted me to take my shoes off and he said sure. As I did, he made his way to the bed. He had his back turned and I slowly made my way to him. Once I became close, he turned and grabbed me. We started making out and for a second it was fantastic.

Then I felt it. It was giant and I was honestly shocked by the weight. Just as I had my on it through his pants, I froze.

I told him I had to go. I couldn’t think of anything. Every second since then I’ve thought about if I kept going. Now the question is, should I try again or should I take it as a sign?