So scared that the pain will ruin everything for me

Hey everyone, just a quick post to rant and vent.... As I stated in another post, I am currently staying with relatives in my home country after spending years away studying. I am here mainly for health purposes but of course have to keep on working on my own things. This upcoming July I am participating in an event thats everything for me, it's my first time selling my art at a convention and I am so excited and eager to do this.... except for the fact that I have been in such a disastrous flare up for almost a month now. I dont know how to make it better, I am just desperate some days. Especially because I need to continue making my art and finish my rough estimate of merch for the con. But working like this has been unbereable... I came off a break of 3 days and today I felt like I've barely made any progress. I feel like I have to call it off because I can barely move my hands. Im in tears while writing this.

This event is supposed to happen in roughly a month and I do Not Feel ready At All...... I must admit I am so stressed thinking that I'll have barely anything to print before my time to fly back to the UK and be at this come arrives. Im supposed to have at least 7 prints ready and I've only got 3 for now... plus all the other things I still haven't finished. It just feels like a lot and this trip was SUPPOSED to be for relaxing, recovering, etc... and at the moment I am staying with my dad with whom I have many issues with and don't feel nearly the amount of support I feel from the rest of my family... I've even considered coming back to them but for many reasons I won't state here it'd be unreasonable.

So, yeah, I am terrified that this flare up will sabotage this one thing that means everything to me. I've tried so many things but the symptoms are not backing down. Every single damn time I sit down to work, within an hour it feels like torture. If I don't make GOOD proper progress before June ends, I am doomed, and I still haven't mustered enough courage to open up to my dad about this... It's a lot. Now I just want this day to be over so I can try again tomorrow. I know probably most of my fears n anxieties will be beaten, but right now they're getting me. I am SO furstrated :::::::))))))))))))