How soon should he speak to your dad or Wali?

In an ideal world and according to the deen he would speak to your father asap/when speaking to you. But I’m looking for realistic, real world advice.

What’s a reasonable timeframe from starting a talking stage to having your potential speak to your dad?

Who should bring it up? The girl? The guy? Should you wait for him to bring it up? Should you address it early on so he’s aware of your expectations?

How quickly should you end things if he has a reason or excuse for why he’s unable to? If his reason sounds legit, how long would you reasonably give him?

Question for the men specifically: Is there ever a situation where you genuinely want to marry a woman but are dragging your feet when it comes to speaking to her dad? Does a potential asking you to speak to her father scare you, even when your intentions are good? Does it make things feel “too real”? Does it depend on how long you’ve been speaking, or does it simply come down to how serious and certain you are about her?

I’ve spoken to seemingly respectful brothers so far, so I’m a bit confused as to why they wouldn’t want to have a conversation with my dad. He won’t bite 😭. Sure, he’ll ask some serious questions, but he’s a sweetheart.

The conclusion I’ve reached is that they’re either unserious or they view speaking to my dad as a binding contract. From my perspective, just because a man has spoken to my father doesn’t mean I’ve reached the point of no return and have to marry him. It simply means he’s a serious candidate.

What’s your take on this, and what advice would you give your own sister?