I don’t think I ever truly got over my boyfriend emotionally cheating on me

I (18f) have been with my boyfriend (18m) for almost 3 years, in August.

For the first 8 months of our relationship he was emotionally cheating on me. I figured I shouldn’t make it a big deal because it wasn’t physical, but I still haven’t fully gotten over it.

I didn’t want to ‘overreact’ because we were both very young and still are, I thought I had to forgive those mistakes and I simply wanted to be loved. The day I found out, I even cried in his arms. That was awful.

I remember when I found out I told him I didn’t want him talking to her anymore, or else we would be done. Then I find out from my friend that he gave her a note APOLOGIZING TO HER, she sent me a photo of it. She was able to get info out of the girl, she pretended to be her friend basically.

Even after that, I still stayed. Since then, from what I know nothing else has happened. It still bothers me to this day though, the fact that it went on for 8 months and I didn’t even know who she was? I knew who all of his friends were, except her.

I mean, I know he isn’t cheating on me now or anything and I don’t really think he will in the future but every now and then I think about it and I get so upset.

I know I’m overreacting and being dramatic because it’s been so long, but it still hurts all the same. I feel like I’ve disrespected myself by staying, even though I love him and he loves me I will always feel that way. I’m a joke. I showed him that he can hurt me and I will stay. That’s the problem.