How do you cope with realizing this will never get better?

I spend so much mental energy on trying to get better and make my brain just function. And I always have hope that maybe one day I'll find the right combo of things to make me feel normal.

But I'm just so depressed. I can't take any medication I've tried. I can't keep my house clean or do my actual best for my kids. Like I KNOW I'm capable of more, but I just can't do it. And I'm SO discouraged.