AITAH for being upset that my fiance is spending hundreds of dollars on things we don't need

My fiance and I are living paycheck to paycheck, I'm currently unemployed so he's the sole provider. The first thing he did was try to fix up and buy a motorcycle while we have a working car, sure it's not the "coolest" or best looking thing but it works. After spending I think 500 dollars in maybe 2 weeks (he wouldn't tell me exactly how much) he gave up on it when I kept telling him the money should be going to his debt or even groceries and the bike just kept having more things that needed fixed after 1 thing was fixed, his grandpa who he was buying it from gave him back the money he used..

The most recent was a police scanner that has a dashcam attached to it for 100$, he tried justifying it by saying it originally costs 800$ but I don't see a point in a police scanner when you could just drive the speed limit for free, a dash cam i understand it's for safety but you can get one for 20$. Yesterday he saw a deal at a hardware store that if you spend 100$ you get a free tool and I told him I would be pissed if he got it. He went on how it's a "free tool" but it's not FREE if you need to spend 100$ to get it.

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He's over 30k in debt from a loan he got when he was 18 for a car that broke down a year later and he sold for a few hundred+ a credit card and I tried coming up with a plan to pay it off but he keeps saying he doesn't have the money to just put aside 300-500$ each check for that... He gets upset with me when I tell him it's a frivolous buy and tells me he never buys things for himself WHICH I UNDERSTAND to a point. I hate to knock down his excitement and not let him indulge in his hobbies but we just don't have the money to do these things, it would be different if we didn't have to choose between groceries and gas most weeks. I don't know how to show him we need to save more or maybe I'm overreacting and should just let him do what he wants with the money. AITAH for constantly being upset at his purchases?

Posted Jun 14, 2026, 12:19 PM UTC · locked

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