Twista - Dreams

You ever use married iguanas in the morning on the weekend, and then reclose your eyes to start having dreams about vivid memories of you and your ex, hands all over on top of each other, but not necessarily only in a ratchety way, but in a real deep intimacy way. And you start to remember in mid dream state of this, that none of it was real, and you were just fodder for the demon succubus empty shell of a person you are now broken up with?

I broke up w her 3 months ago and found out a week later she was fostering an affair w a coworker (I work there as well) thus is why she pushed me away blatantly to point of breaking up. That was going on between them and me wanting to break up for almost a year which is when he entered his life. He also tried getting my ex wife when we were married. He also blatantly has ignored me my 15 years of knowing everyone at my work (800-1200 people) in numerous attempts to talk to him, he looks past me as if I don't exist. Talks about everyone else as if he's the smartest person in the world, and everyone else is dumb and not practical or rational, which I find to be true of him. We're in our 40s. I wanna F\*\*\* this dudes face up. I literally just took a pay increase new position at my job which will help w a boat load of problems that have accrued in my life last few years, and make for more meaningful memories w my daughter. But apart of me wants to destroy this guy's whole world. He's a real DB. I'm 95% over her, but not over how it went down and my new seeded revenge for this guy.

That's all separate from the dream state I was in this morning. For a moment it felt real, like this was the dream and i fell back into reality, I felt so warm and cozy, I had her back in my arms. We were naked, I could feel her, I could see her, our faces were together, our eyes were looking at each other, I could feel her long beautiful hair, her skin I could see her tattoos. It felt so real. Lasted about a minute before I realised wtf and snapped out of it. I was just starting to drift back off into sleep when that happened. Wanted to cry for a brief second after opening my eyes. Then became upset let down again and angry. First time I've had those feelings in a month easy now. First time I've had a vivid dream about a person since high school

Any insight on dreams of past lovers, or what did u do to get your subconscious to let go? I dunno what kind of question I just need insight from this. It was not a good breakup. I was extremely heart broken in the beginning. I'm healed enough now. But as sweet and pleasant as the dream was for a whole minute, I need to let it go.. I don't ever want to remember her again. It's too much to bare.