type me !

Hello every1! having some help with this would really help, sorry that this is a lot, I hope this is enough information but I’ll try to answer any questions if there is any. I do well with other people’s opinions helping.

I’m a very withdrawn and introverted person, but I would really want to be extroverted I’m just usually not in a lot of social situations. though if I see something I think is wrong or not okay I will stand up despite my introverted nature, if I see a friend being treated poorly I won’t be quiet and Im very firm on what I think is right and wrong. I definitely am very people oriented and while I’m fully capable of making my own decisions I do well with getting the opinions of my peers as I value the perspective of others even if it’s negative. I lack certainty in my abilities sometimes and need the opinions of others.

I’m a very sensitive person but I’m able to communicate usually, if something someone says upsets me I’m able to communicate to them about it in a mature way. Though I do not open up about my personal issues to anyone. I need someone that I trust fully to open up too and even then it takes a lot of time and courage to actually open up, I usually want a one on one relationship/friendship were we are extremely close, I want to feel wanted and needed by the person I love especially if I trust them enough to tell them about myself. I love people the way I want to be loved in hopes they love me the same way back, I feel good when people rely on me and I sometimes give people high expectations or “impossible standards” even though it’s not my intention. opening up to people about the things that truly affect me is really difficult and it makes me worried that they’ll perceive me differently or might use it against me in a way. Something I do a lot is self project, if something is bothering me, or if I’m worried a friend doesn’t like me I often project that or accuse that of them even if I don’t mean too. I usually keep a small circle and I’m withdrawn from most people, I only let certain people into my life but I also do yearn for companionship and more friends even though I won’t go out of my way to be social or make them. I very much like my social interactions to be on my time, I like having plans IE : “I’m doing this at 6pm so I have this much time to be by myself and do my own thing” but I also do get ready too early lol I hate being late and don’t want people to think less of me because of it

I love knowledge and learning, especially on things I’m passionate about. If there’s something I feel connected too I’ll try my best to learn about it. a large reason why is because I want people to deem me as someone intelligent and interesting. I care a lot about how other people view me. I learn because I want too but it’s a very large reason as to why I do. This doesn’t really apply to like, learning achievements or grades, mainly the things I enjoy.

I like to think I’m a valuable friend to have and a “good” person because I’m compassionate and I’m willing to listen, even if I have my own problems going on I will always be there even if they aren’t the people close to me, to listen and use my large and vast knowledge to give valuable insight and support. I’m the person who will ask days later if they’re still alright or if they’d want to talk about it more. i think it’s one of my positive traits. I like people knowing that they can trust me and talk to me, it makes me feel valuable and I like when people have a good image of me in their mind. I often put others over myself. I’m also a very anxious person and I often use the strategy of “predicting” the worst outcome happening so that if it does I’ll be more mentally prepared to deal with it. I try to be positive and if someone comes at me with negativity I’ll respond with positivity but I find it hard to be very positive myself sometimes. My biggest fear is change, I do not have a routine but if I do something for long enough, if that thing gets taken away or stops it makes me anxious in ways I cannot describe. if me and a friend hang out every Saturday and suddenly they cannot it makes me anxious and makes my mind overthink to bad possibilities. I try to rebrand my anxiety by focusing on other things or keeping myself entertained but it rarely works.

I like to think I’m a friendly person but I can definitely be rude or negative at times, but I also try to keep it to myself and in my brain. I often “mirror” how people act towards me even my close friends as I’m naturally a more dry person and I find it hard to express emotions, so I mimic how they act to me so they don’t think I’m uninterested, even to people I don’t like I try to act nice though I can definitely be mean or “short tempered” but I usually keep those in my mind. I’m naturally a more judging person even though I’m not trying to be, I usually judge others by their behavior even though my behavior is not much better.

emotionally immature people or people who cannot grasp simple concepts really irritate me even though sometimes I’m the same way, if someone is unable to communicate or refuses too it makes me see them poorly and for lack of a better term embarrassed for them. things like communication can be hard to learn but I believe everyone needs these skills and I don’t want to deal with people who don’t have them.

I’ve been told in the past that I’m emotionally intelligent, emotionally mature, that I’ve been able to see someone else’s perspective even when they wronged me and that I’m very well spoken. All of these are things I strive for and I’m very proud of. Especially being emotionally intelligent and well spoken, I work hard on both of them.

not sure what I think when I walk into a room because I’m usually thinking how soon can I leave lol