How to not let nagging insecurities get in the way of roleplaying in communities

I’m looking for some advice from other roleplayers.

This mostly applies to roleplaying in bigger community spaces like Tumblr, rather than 1-to-1 roleplay. I do have a handful of amazing 1-to-1 partners and I’ve had no issues there, so this isn’t really about RP as a whole. It’s more about trying to exist in larger spaces where there are already established groups, friendships, dynamics, and in-jokes.

How do you keep going in a writing space when you feel like everyone already has their close friends and established dynamics? I love writing my muse so much, and I don’t want to give that up, but sometimes it feels like there isn’t really room for me. I know I shouldn’t compare myself to other people, but that’s much easier said than done.

For context, I roleplayed for around 10 years and only really stopped during Covid. I used to run an RP Discord server too, but I got badly burned out by OOC drama and the social side of things. I’ve always had insecurities around writing and fitting in, but because I took such a huge break, I’ve found it hard to get back into the swing of things. From Covid up until this year, I’ve primarily been writing fanfiction instead.

I’ll admit I’m not the most social person OOC anymore. I’m friendly and happy to vibe, plot, and chat a bit, but I don’t enjoy constant OOC messaging because of past experiences. I’m mostly here because I love writing, developing dynamics, and building stories.

The thing I struggle with is comparing myself to other writers of the same muse and wondering why anyone would choose to write with me when there are people who seem more popular, more confident, or more connected. I do try to make an effort. I post opens, send asks, and sometimes message people first, but none of that fully takes away the feeling. If anything, it can make me feel worse when I’m ignored or rejected.

I don’t take those feelings out on potential partners, but I definitely take them out on myself. I know I’m bad for doomscrolling and looking at dashboard interactions, then feeling like I don’t have partners in that space I can have the same kind of fun with.

I don’t want this to turn into bitterness, and I don’t want to lose my love for writing because of insecurity. I guess I’m asking: how do you make peace with being a quieter writer in a very social hobby? How do you stop comparing yourself to more established writers or friendship groups? And how do you keep putting yourself out there without letting rejection completely knock you down?

Any advice would be really appreciated,