My First Trip Report: [Dorney Park]

I've been going to a lot of the same Amusement Parks in the Northeast for a while, and decided to finally branch out some more from the usual suspects I visit. Those being, Six Flags New England, The Great Escape, SFGA, Hershey Park, Knoebels, Lake Compounce, Seabreeze, Quassy, Canobie Lake Park, Rye Playland, etc...

My first time at Dorney Park:

Getting there: Local traffic isn't too confusing, although it was the first time I've had police directing traffic on a main road for an amusement park, and telling people to ignore the normal signage and traffic lights. The parking lot, however is a total mess to navigate.

The front gates were relatively quick to get through, and I ended up getting their flashpass which is a wristband, instead of on the phone app for the parks. You have to buy the voucher one place, and then get your wristband elsewhere. This could be circumnavigated if you have a season flashpass purchased online, and get a QR code on your phone instead.

The Roller coasters:

Talon: A 2001 Bolliger and Mabillard Invert that actually rode very smooth and was a pleasant experience overall. This is in contrast to how most B & Ms are starting to show their age and get uncomfortable, but this one did not have any noteworthy headbanging. I definitely got my use out of the flash pass here, as it's situated near enough to the front of the park and thus had a long line. Staffing and dispatch times were decent.

Wild Mouse: was next, which had rather incompetent staff that weren't stacking trains, despite having an awful long line I was thankful to avert because this is one of the roughest Wild Mice I have ever been on in my life. Definitely a one and done. Every single block section brings you to a complete stop immediately, and I have no idea why anyone would do such a thing besides to torture you.

Hydra: One of, if not the park's main signature attraction from 2005. Infamous for it's opening Jojo roll right out of the station. It was here I found a very odd operating tick that several of their roller coasters have with regards to the gates in the ride line. Apparently many of them open with magnets, and only for a short amount of time. The ride operator failed to announce over the intercom that the ride gates had been unlocked, and the left side staff member started shouting to people to push them open, and the group of 4 waiting for the front seat was unable to push them open in time. The operator refused to unlock the gates again to fill the train, which was an odd decision as the majority of the other passengers weren't even seated yet. The group was informed they missed their ride as we waited several minutes for the other riders to get seated and for the train to dispatch, making me wonder why they refused to open the gates. As for the ride itself, it was rather uncomfortable with the older Horseshoe collar restraints, and had noticeable head bang. The Jojo roll itself was uncomfortable in the front, but much more enjoyable in the back. Aside from that, the rest of the ride was rather uninspired typical B & M. A shame, as I was looking forward to it. Batman the Dark Knight and Medusa are much better floorless experiences, and I still stand by the Dark Knight being one of the smoothest.

Demon Drop: Was a little nervous going on such a rickety and old sounding thing, but it was nowhere near as painful as I was expecting it to be. Overall, a neat little novelty of an old ride brought over from it's former location at Cedar Point. Staff here was very efficient and made sure to fill each seat to keep lines down.

Thunderhawk: There really isn't much to say here. An Old Philadelphia Toboggan Company out and back roller coaster with individual, orange restraints. It tracks like shit. It rides like shit. And as one other guest said, "It felt like I got into a car crash." I know people like to say we should keep classic Wooden Coasters around, but stuff like this ain't it, chief. I stand by that all these old PTCs could use timberliners for a much better ride experience, because individual lap bar PTCs are trash. I'm saddened to know Hershey's Comet has been nerfed in this way recently with such an abomination. These trains were made for buzz bars and buzz bars alone. One can only hope Phoenix's days aren't numbered.

Steel Force: My first Morgan Hyper. I thought Magnum was an awesome ride I'd hope to get to some day when I was younger, and this was decidedly one of the more pleasant experiences in the park. It wasn't too forceful, nor was it painful. I think the most exciting part was the helix, which thankfully did not jackhammer. My only complaint is that the asshole checking restraints punched mine in to try and staple me. While his restraint check could almost be qualified as assault, the ride itself was still far less painful than any PTC train. This was, thankfully the only time I was stapled on my trip. No lines for this bad boy in the back here.

Iron Menace: My First B & M Dive coaster. Once again, those magnetically locked gates strike again. An employee had told the man in front of me that she wanted 2 of us to stand back, and was leaving two seats empty, presumably for other guests to board from the handicapped entrance. Those guests didn't show up, and we told the operator on our side, who did actually decided to let us around the employee area to get onto the ride on that cycle. This made me really question why these magnetic gates seemingly lock until the next train shows up in the station. Is that actually programmed into their system or are their operators simply not competent enough to override it like most employees at six flags are? I know Six Flags employees are no ball of fire, but they look like honors students compared to the staff at Dorney.

The ride itself was fine. I know that Dive Machines have a lot more going on mechanically than a floorless roller coaster, but it really did just feel like another floorless, albeit less painful. The vest restraints are far more comfortable to ride in, and the whole ride itself was nice and smooth.

Possessed: Surprisingly nothing to say here. It ran smooth, with no issue. Very little rattle, and was actually comfortable. Thanks for that, Intamin.

Other rides: It was nice to ride a generation 1 Enterprise, but I feel bad for the guy who had to unlock every single one of the cars manually by himself. Really need 2 operators on this bad boy. The trains and carousel were nice, and I actually got soaked out of my mind on the water rides. I recommend wearing no shirt, and only shorts for them, and am glad I took my phone out of my pocket as that shit would be fried. Seriously, you get soaked to the bone. I know I complain about water rides that barely get you spit on but this might be too much in the other direction. A nice middle ground is what I'd hope for out of my water rides.

Finally, the food stalls were rather slow and understaffed, especially for a Saturday in the middle of Summer, like come on guys. They only had slightly more options than your standard six flags fair, and even the drink kiosks had hour lines from time to time. Glad to see the "Unholy drink cloacas" were as unreliable as ever, forcing everyone to use the traditional soda dispensers everyone they were present.

Overall, about a 6/10 experience. Now that I have the credits, probably won't be back any time soon.

Edit: A final, small positive note, they consistently allowed zipper/button pockets to hold phones, and glasses with glasses straps on rides.