Therapist and I can't agree on if online schooling will worsen my depression

I'm 18F and have been seeing my therapist for 4 months now two times a week. I started seeing him following a suicide attempt and hospitalization, and I've really enjoyed working with him, but we cant fully agree on this one thing and its been stressing me out very very badly.

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For context, almost all of our sessions have been about academic pressure, and trying to learn coping skills because I tried taking my life due to those exact pressures, and my lack of coping skills. But I've only been seeing him for 4 months, and was not very receptive to his help for the half of that time, so I frankly still have no coping skills to help against anything.

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High-school was HELL for me, I hated being excluded, I hated having to wake up at 5 am, I hated not having time to eat breakfast and not being able to afford to eat lunch at school, and I hated only getting 2 hours of sleep. I essentially hated most things forced (and normalized) into the school experience, and stuff I think will always be a part of it. And I'm scared college will be way worse if im attending in-person. I'm scared of having to now commute 20-30 min each morning because it'll make getting up so much more dreadful, I'm scared of having probably way more pressure to socialize with classmates, I'm scared of having to somehow balance college with a part time job, and I'm scared of not getting any sleep again.

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I just want to be able to take care of myself for most of the day, and I feel like I could handle most of the stress and sadness of school if I could at least eat breakfast or get 6+ hours of sleep.

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I've started thinking about taking all of the courses at my college online, but my therapist seems to be very against the idea. In one of our first sessions, we established that I should make an effort to interact with people socially more often (join clubs, small public events, jobs, attending class, etc) because it was very clear that my depression is a product of my chronic isolation growing up (depressed since age 5 cuz I had *zero* socialization). And I do agree with that, but I still haven’t really learned any proper coping skills that work for me, so I don't feel comfortable or confident throwing myself back into school knowing theres a very big chance I'll feel ostracized and won't be able to handle it again. I never felt like I belonged in any groups anywhere, so without fixing that first, I don't want to go back to school where fitting into a group is essential.

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On the other hand, my therapist suggested I take a gap year to focus on my mental health while leaving the house to go practice socialization in groups or clubs. Or only attending in-person college part-time for a year. But I dont see why I should potentially jeopardize my future by falling behind just to join clubs and go "play outside" like some child. I just dont like the idea at all, it feels very embarrassing considering im already graduating high-school late because the suicide attempt made everyone baby me and take me through the rest of the school year slower, and now I'm being suggested by someone else again to keep babying myself even more. The idea just makes me very upset :(

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And the main reason why I can't see eye-to-eye with my therapist is because I don't see how online classes would worsen my depression like he claims. I mean, sure, the main contribution to my depression is probably the isolation, but I'd very probably still feel isolated in college like I did the past 4 years in high-school. And I felt better during those 4 years when I'd stay home. Sure, I'd go weeks without talking to a single person, and on the surface that may look bad, but I feel *better* doing that. Way better than if I were to go outside and have to watch other people talk and have fun.

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Sorry if this was kinda long and didn't fully make sense—it's hard trying to verbalize my exact feelings or thoughts. I'd appreciate it if I could get some extra opinions on if my therapist is correct about the online courses potentially worsening depression. I understand the logic, but if I feel nice being in my room alone all day, is it really still a concern? I don't like feeling depressed or suicidal, so I don't want to potentially take online courses for a year and make myself feel worse, but is it really a genuine risk?

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Any responses are greatly appreciated, thanks :)