Don't know how to feel or if to say anything

I'm in the process of coming out, I've come out as bi to some close friends (it feels like an easier step than saying gay)

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It's going fine but I'm a bit hesitant, after so many years of hiding, I feel like I'm letting too much about me out,

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The other elephant in the room is I am still friends with the 1st guy I had sex with and I really want to talk to him. It's been over 25 years since I ghosted him and ended our relationship and I've never felt right about it since.

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My questions are, does everyone feel like they are giving up control when they come out? And should I talk to my ex?