In tired of gooning

Im 16 and approaching summer break and i know how its going to work, i wake up, doomscroll till 2pm eat a shitty breakfast, goon, doomscroll, goon, then mabey have the courage to self teach my self a programming language or a high level branch of mathematics but just after 20 mins i find it boring. Boring, thats the last thing i ever thought i would find computer science and mathematics, because past me would dedicate my life to it and go way ahead everyone in the subject, i goon, i doomscroll then sleep then the cycle repeats again. And i just know this is going to be me all summer.

My first ever goon was when i was 12-13 years old and whats really unusual about my addiction is that i only hit puberty when i was 14 so my brain just gives me a loophole and somewhat uses it to an advantage “your addicted for 4 years that means you had such a high testosterone”, “the addiction stopping will naturally come to you” and i know thats bullshit.

Ive seen the side effects of gooning, being lazy, being less social, and ruining relationships, and not being able to speak to female humanoids and to be honest, my addiction only affects half of those problems that i stated for example im a pretty social person but when it comes to huge social events, im silent as a mouse, and being lazy, i keep telling myself in the summer i will be self teaching my self c++, and intro to topology and A level mathematics but i know dam well ill just be lazy, and i know its from my addiction but i just cant stop.

And 1 thing i keep telling my self is “if i magically ever stop what can i feel next time i get a boner” because is not like ill ever have a female humanoid partner to do the hokey-pokey with, i will just never ever ever have to feel anything pleasureable or sexual again so it just makes me goon all over again.