Entire relationship going to hell

My girlfriend is splitting on me, shes blocked me on multiple apps and is ignoring me

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It all started with me lashing out at her for making a light joke and I lost in a video game, she got sad and I apologize and tell her I still love her. She doubts it and I end up falling asleep due to exhuastion

I understand I was in the wrong here but it escalated with her not beliving I love her and she started to split friday

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Now she has blocked me on multiple platforms, when I try to talk I just get insulted and made fun of and I cant even talk to her without being scared. When we have arguments it always feels like shes attacking me and pushing me down no matter what

I try to apologize and own up, i cant change because she only sees the bad and I never feel like I do the right thing

When I do something right for once she doessent comment on it, and I wish she would so id know what works and not. However I end up nlt sticking to it and then she gets dissapointed since nothing lasts

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I wont lie im a distant person and I want to be more vulnerable with her but I find it difficult since shes admitted to having thoughts of wanting to hurt me to make sure I do care

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She thinks I dont care about her and that I dont love her but I do. I struggle with showing it and she alwyas clings to my past mistakes and brings them up all the time; that my stories dont align up at all and I always suck and never fulfill her needs

It sucks because when i asked her for her needs. Now its forced. She cares about the little things? I cant catch the hint and she gets pissed. She compares herself to my ex's because she feels inferior which ruins the relationship.

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Idk I wasnt so locked in for her at the start due to me feeling like she liked others more than me by making jokes on how much more attractive characters are, and how more funny and entertaining her friends were.

I dont know what to do, she makes it so difficult. We argue, she clings to the past and I try to move on. We argue mroe ans she brings previous things and it hurts. I can never change

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I let go of her finding others more funny and I've had to tolerate how she hates people like me, but im the expception...