the bike in the basement?? Idk what to call it but pls give me feedback

Feedback Please

(Be brutally honest pls)

the bike in the basement is pink
with tasseled handlebars and a mesh basket on the front

the basket is filled with stumps of crayons, a Barbie doll, and the hope of a promising world

the bell on the bike echoes with contagious laughter and the crunches of gravel paths long abandoned

the car in the driveway is charcoal grey
sleek, modern, and practical

there is a backpack tossed in the backseat and a newly issued license in the cup holder

tires screech at hasty stops and forgotten clutter rattles in the truck

but when the car is full, with the music blasting
giggles and screams float in the air

when the windows are down
hair flies in the wind
though the strands are much longer now

maybe I’ll put a sticker in my car
or a toy on the dashboard
maybe the sun looks brighter now,
and a world changed is not a hopeless one

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/z4Is4D2aLN

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/a7NjtJCiPy

Posted Jun 15, 2026, 8:35 AM UTC

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