AIO for feeling unhappy in my relationship because of how my boyfriend reacts to me?

My boyfriend (M49) and I (F41) have been together for eight months. He's not a stereotypically bad guy - he can be kind, intelligent, and we have strong chemistry. But lately I've realized that I feel constantly on edge around him, and I'm wondering if I'm overreacting.

A few recent examples:

We recently went to the theater. During intermission, we returned to our seats. I entered the row first because it was empty and there was no need for anyone to lead the way. I then sat in the seat he had previously been using because it seemed more practical than climbing over each other in a narrow aisle.

He became very upset, in a very emotionally expressive way, and said, "You did that on purpose." He insisted we switch seats back and later told me that a man should enter first and offer the better seat to the lady, and that I had embarrassed him. I understand there are traditional etiquette rules about a man entering first, but the row was empty, so I didn’t expect it to matter. His reaction felt disproportionate to me, and in the moment I felt like I had done something seriously wrong. I spent the second half of the play shaking and unable to focus.

At a small, casual get-together with a few friends, I was drinking a cheap bottle of wine from a corner shop and he was drinking beer from a can. He poured me a very small amount, and when I asked if he could pour a bit more, he reacted as though I had committed a major breach of etiquette, saying wine should only be poured in small amounts.

On a canoe trip, I bent down to pick something up and may have briefly stepped on a flower (I'm not even sure I did). He immediately reacted very strongly, talking about vandalism and how terrible it was. I had been sick with stomach issues that day and felt weak, and his reaction made me feel like the worst person in the world. I ended up shaking for hours afterward.

Later on that trip, I bought food and drinks for both of us at a stand. In my country, tipping at stands is voluntary, and people often just round the amount up, which is what I did. He criticized me for not leaving a larger tip. What bothered me was the inconsistency: I've twice seen him accidentally leave restaurants without paying, and on a recent vacation he paid less than his share of the accommodation while I covered most of the food and cooking expenses.

A recurring pattern is that when I tell him his reactions hurt me, he either gives me the silent treatment or becomes self-pitying and focuses on how much I've hurt him. I rarely feel like my perspective is genuinely heard. It often ends with me feeling like the bad guy.

He describes himself as very calm and easygoing, but in reality he often seems anxious, critical, and easily upset.

Before this relationship, I spent a year single and was mostly happy and relaxed. Since being with him, I feel sad and tense much more often. I increasingly feel like I'm living under constant evaluation and never know what minor thing will trigger criticism next.

I don't think he's a bad person, but I no longer feel like I have emotional support in this relationship.

Am I overreacting?