Invite mother who went no contact 6 months ago?

Hi all,

I've really been struggling with this and am looking for more insight.

I proposed to my person a year and a half ago. The wedding is in 6 months now. After I proposed, my mother was weird about it. She went through a bad divorce wuith my deadbeat (& estranged) father. Our relationship is (was) mostly phone call based for all of my twenties despite living in the same area, and every time I called about wedding stuff she would end up diving into politics or how vaccines and sunscreen is bad or whatever, and it was the sort of conversation that inspired a response from me, especially with the state of things, so the phone calls never ended well.

She had come to my birthday (a year ago at my place, a very rare occurance) and almost left when my friend brought up politics (he apologized later when I talked to him) and abortion rights came up. I have tokophobia super bad and had immediately gotten my tubes removed when roe v wade was overturned. When that came up in conversation, I got fed up with her over sugary "you made SUCH a good decision fot YOURSELF" shit from her and clarified I would not have felt the need to remove organs from my body if I still could guarantee I wouldn't turn into an incubator if I got pregnant in the wrong state. She took this, of course, as 'I got sterilized BECAUSE of her.' Rich. Anyway... This was the "start" of things going downhill. Just imagine sprinkled in phone calls following that where I am trying to give her wedding info, and she is responding by talking about how bad our blue state governnor is, and how elon musk's feelings need to be considered more...

It came to a head after a phone call after last christmas. Called to chat, ended up learning she thought bombing a mosque in Nigeria on a christian holiday was a *good* thing, asked her about local events (ice raids near my house) and if I got detained, would she try to come get me. Her response was she would never interfere with a federal agent, and also it makes a good deal of sense for grown men like Nick Shirley to harrass daycares full of young children... I said for the very first time that she was giving me the impression of what sort of German she is (we are indeed German) and she told me...

*we are on different paths in life

*we are taking a break so she can "come to terms with how I think of her."

Fine. Great emotional pain for me with this, but its not like engaging with her felt great either.

It was very hard going through the government's ice invasion in the month that followed without her support, especially with it being so in our face and frightening what with the constant helicopters, military esque violence, gassings of neighborhoods, ect. Never once heard from her asking if we were doing okay. She is not no contact with my brother, and she didn't reach out to him either despite him also living in an area that was hard hit by ICE.

Then my grandpa started dying, which took months unfortunately. I was close with him, and had lived with him for part of my childhood. She was his caretaker, so I imagine it was very hard for her, but also a relief in some ways because of the burden of care. All I got for communication was pictures of his furniture asking if I wanted it. The day after his death she sent me a picture from when I was younger (nostalgic for more compliant times, perhaps). We saw each other on the day she arranged to move all the furniture. That wasn't easy, but I got through it amicably and left with a load of furniture. My fiance was super supportive.

The funeral is also very delayed due to the moving situation, so that has also been hard. But now all this time has passed. We have sent out save the dates to folks and now need to start sending invites. My fiance thinks I should invite her. I'm not sure, but I also feel pretty down about having no parents (or my grandfather, who had been my last surviving grandparent) at my wedding. It just sucks and hurts. I'm trying to not let it get me down about planning anymore.

What should I do? Should I invite my mother to my wedding after she went no contact with me last christmas?