Looking for some advice-F27 Lost mother young

I lost my mum when I was 14 years old and it was really traumatising in a weird way because I just blocked it out disassociated and I ended up rebelling and being bad when previously I was the nerdiest kid at school but now I was going out to parties and doing dumb stuff. So from the age of 15 to 18 that wasn't great for my Dodd and he was there for me he was supportive but he's not very emotionally available. That makes sense. He's also dealing with a huge grief because that was the love of his life recently I've lost my own and another friend of mine within a couple months and the grief is piling on and I've seen people post on here about how people aren't going to have children because they don't have support system and I don't wanna be that person that feels like they can't have children because they don't have the support system. I really want to have a family one day wanna meet the right guy? I've been in relationships in the past. I've ended the majority of them when they weren't right or became toxic but I just yeah and I've been single for a year. The grief is a lot to deal with and I just wanna know what my options are because I'm a little bit scared. Thanks