I have some heavy problems with my stepfather

So im not the type of guy to really post about this and just want to handle it myself but since I’m kind of an active Reddit user or atleast wad and also want to hear some stories or maybe advice from people I just decided to make this post now.

So to start off, I’m 18 and he is 50+.

I always didn’t really like him, even since I was a kid basically even a toddler.

There was just something off about him and his personality and I just didn’t like him. Then as I grow older and in 14 now I think to myself that I kind of want to get a better bond with him since this hate Is not really that good for myself even though his personality is really disgusting for me.
It works kind of out till I’m 15 and I get the news that this disgusting guy cheated on my mom. I’m gonna be honest I wanted to punch his head off and idk even stabbed him, I even told my mother about this but I never would have really done it. It was just a lot of anger coming from these news. Although on the occasion I told my mom about this I looked at him while he was smiling and sitting on the ground watching tv with not a single thought and I also felt kind of sorry for thinking that.

Like I’m still mad but idk every time an event like this happens I get really mad but I also think about how this person was a child themselves once and wants to have joy and good things coming to them and I know it doesn’t excuse any of their behavior and it doesn’t effect them as an adult but idk man.

Another thing I didn’t mention was that he kind of made fun of my religion. There is something you say before you eat in my religion and other stuff you have to say when you pray etc and he never says or does it but as soon as I’m there he says with a smiley face the things you have to say and mocks me. And he did that for more than a decade.

He is a guy who is just full of ego, he is always right and imposes himself like the incredible masculine guy that he is. Things he can just touch me on my shoulder after everything he had done and thinks everything’s alright and smiles in my face like he knows we aren’t good with each other but knows that I don’t really like confrontation, not that I wouldn’t really be able to fight or want to fight him if the situation comes but normally I want to avoid any fight or a big confrontation before something happens.

He knows it better all the time, doesn’t have any real shame and just yaps and yaps.

Then this guy, he cheats on my mother again and tries to lie and manipulate her into saying that’s it’s her fault. Oh my god this guy.

I told him on WhatsApp a really really long text of how I wouldn’t care if he dies, that he should get away from my mom etc. And I all meant it. There was a lot more but that would explode this post.

I have so much hate in me for this person and it’s not good. it drains me and I am scared that it changes the way I am but every time I think of him I just get so angry my heart even hurts a bit.

And yesterday it all boiled over the pot. He comes home eats the food my mom made, says its not salty enough and my mom responds that if it isn’t good enough that he can piss off.

Now my mom overreacted there but if you as a man did all the things you have done to her, you should be grateful she even lets you inside the damn house.

My mom can be with any way she wants if this guy wants to stay with her.
Instead of then talking with her, he just runs off and gets angry again and rishes out of the house while pushing my mom to the side and I get super angry.

I go downstairs where he wants to leave, give my mom keys so she can enter the house again.

I get back up and wait for him to come and this guy…….

He walks past me while I talk with my mom for a sec and he tries to be friendly again and says hey "my name" and I litereally just say "be quiet" and he gets explosive, crashes out and and talks with me in a real confrontation which I never had before about how he has more possession over my mom than me, like my mom would be a damn object, who protects her and all that ???? What the hell is this guy talking about, never even mentioned these thing but that just shows what a loser this guy is and where his priorities are.

I just want to obliterate this guy but fighting him wouldn’t do anything since I then will have problems with the police.

I just can’t stand this guy and honestly I kind of hope it happens again, I kind of fought him intellectually and stood my ground but I couldn’t develop my full thinking progress.

And I’m also honest some part in me also wants to fight him and just punch his head off, Knoch him out, let him bleed and take away this fragile masculinity.

If he dies today, I would be happy honestly.

TLdr (first time doing this) stepfather is a cheating,lying manipulative guy who I hate since childhood and I want him gone.