Surprised By Joy: Reverie vs Imagination

Hello everyone this morning during my devotions I was listening to chapter 1 of “surprised by joy” by CS Lewis and I feel like God spoke profoundly to me.

The quote that initially struck me was “invention is essentially different from reverie… in my daydreams I was trading myself to be a fool, in mapping and chronicling animal land I was trading myself to be a novelist”

I am praying and searching for meaning, please help me understand this as I share with you part of my life and my understanding:

I am currently 25 and for as long as I can remember, I’ve been pretending. Not so to the fact that I just don’t have any connection to the real world, but I have always had a dream or a story that I partake in. From a young kid as a soccer player, I was always a superstar playing for a star team, or perhaps a secret agent. Whatever the case or whatever I was pretending to be, I was always the hero.

It’s hard to describe just how intricate these worlds were. It was much more than simply just imagination, but I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.

Even when I was 19 and started racing karts, in my head I was an F1 driver.

Fast forward now to my life in the Army (from age 19-25) I am still imagining in a way. I am currently very in to the board game Warhammer. I make sure to protect my mind from a lot of the idolatrous parts of the book and lore. Rather opting to create my own lore and backstory of my own space marine Company. I simply love the mental load of playing this intricate game with a fun backstory behind my Army. Its simply chess with more pieces that you get to build, create, and forge stories about.

Now the reason I’m explaining this is because the world is intricate. I have backstory history and lore about each soldier, army, and battle. But at the center of this story is a soldier named after myself.

While this is sometimes a fun way to flex my mind and creative writing skills, I am wondering if I am partaking in the foolish reverie that CS Lewis is talking about? And if its hindering my relationship with God?

Even when I go into work, I am still sometimes, in my mind the Space Marine Captain hero, all throughout still being completely present in what job i am doing. My Christian walk and this world are not separate however, I still pray that I lead my fictional company with Godly wisdom and that the people (in real life) that I meet and play I may witness Christ to.

I hope I am explaining this right, its hard to fully portray. I feel like much of my life has always been a story ive imaginated or created with some version of myself as the hero. I am now married with 2 kids, if that helps at all.

This story isnt the center of my life at all, rather a hobby, a healthier one than video gaming or social media addiction.

My questions are:

1. Am I foolishly partaking in reverie? CS Lewis even calls it selfish because we are the hero?

2. What is CS Lewis trying to convey with this point?

This might be answered later on, i only finished chapter 1, but i felt called to figure this our.