Training #2: Teach a man to fish

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<Drone footage starts as the image of a bog comes into view with a small boat in the middle of it. Inside the boat is Deig and Draven.>

Deig: Alright, Lad. Time for the next part of your training.

Draven: Uh, in a boat?

Deig: Ey~ Yur gonna fish!

Draven: Fish? Like...with my bare hands or something? I don't see any rods.

Deig: <laughing> Not likely, lad. Yur gonna fish with this*!* <he pulls out a stick of dynamite and lights the fuse>

Draven: Are you insane?! That shit is illegal! We can't fish with that!

Deig: <places the stick of TNT into Draven's hand> You gonna bitch...or fish?~

Draven: <notices the fuse is almost fully eaten away and screams before throwing it into the bog>

<2 seconds later a large gush of water shoots upward, raining dead and dying fish everywhere>

Deig: HAH-HA!!~

Draven: Oh my God, why?!

Deig: <starting to scoop up the fish with a large net> Because we need the fish to use as bait for your "training partner."

Draven: Wait...so this isn't the training??

Deig: Of course not! Why wou--

<a loud gunshot rings out and the net is blasted into splinters>

Draven: AAAHH!! What was that?!

Deig: <glaring at something in the distance>

<the drone turns around and zooms in to show Torrent on top of a tree from a very long distance away. He pulls out a loudspeaker while putting another round into his sniper rifle>

Torrent: Deig! You wanna explain why I woke up after our night at the bar with your name written on my chest in permanent marker?!!

Deig: <shouting back> Just something for you to remember me by, Sweetheart ~

<a red dot appears on Deig's forehead>

Deig: Oh, shite...

<Deig dives into the murky water just as a shot hits where his head would have been>

Torrent: You bastard!!!

Deig: <popping his head up from the water> Can't we talk about this later?! I'm trying to get your Childe some training in with the local shifter!

Draven: ....What?

Torrent: ....You idiot! You wanna train him with Swamp Thing?!

<a deep rumbling bellow is heard before a large mass is seen darting through the water towards Deig and Draven>

Draven: What is that?!

Deig: Were Gator! We're out of position. Run, Lad!

<the creature rises from the water, maw open wide as the water parts from it's scales as it barrels into Deig with full force, knocking the boat over into the water>

Torrent: Fucking hells! <he reloads before firing again, hitting the water just as the were gator zips by, missing it by inches>

Draven: Fuck, fuck, fuck! <swimming hard towards land>

Deig: <is holding the shifter's jaws open to avoid being chomped in half> Oh, you are an ugly son of a bitch!

<the shifter goes into a death roll, slinging water and debris from the boat everywhere>

Torrent: Deig!! Hold tight!! <he fires a shot before rapidly reloading and firing again>

<the shifter roars out in pain and flings Deig out of it's mouth as it's left arm is blasted clean off>

Deig: About time! Draven? You good?

Draven: <shaking and getting closer to Deig> Y-yes. What do we do?

Deig: We kill the fukin thing! <he tosses a combat knife to Draven> That's got silver along the edge. Vanish and make your strike count!

<the shifter roars and dashes through the water as if on a rail straight towards Deig and Draven>

Torrent: Do what you gotta do! I'll give cover fire!

Deig: <jumps to his feet and waves his arms> Hey, fugly! Still want a taste of me?!

<the shifter turns to go for Deig>

Draven: <he Obfuscates, even vanishing from the drones vision>

<Deig moves quickly as the shifter chomps and slashes with it's remaining arm at him>

<another shot rings out as the shifter's tail is blasted off on a shower of scales and blood>

Draven: <he comes out of Obfuscation and stabs the combat knife deep into the side of the shifter, right under the armpit and twists the blade>

<the shifter screams and thrashes hard, trying to free the blade from it's side as Draven gets clear of it's reach>

<another shot rings out as a hole explodes into the skull of the shifter. It goes still as a statue before falling face first into the mud. Dead.>

Deig: You good, Lad?

Draven: Y-yeah...is it?...

Deig: Oh, yeah. Dead as a door nail.

Torrent: All clear!! Now you two get the hell out of here before it's kids show up!

Draven: Kids??

Deig: Yeah, she's been causing a lot of trouble here for a while, lad. Let's go.

<the drone watches Deig and Draven run off into the trees before turning around and heading back to it's handler and turning off the feed>

Posted Jun 15, 2026, 12:52 PM UTC

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