[F4M] ditzy, insecure, sucking cock for validation

I’m a slim, blonde, 25, with a big soft d-cups, a big bubble butt, and even bigger self esteem issues. I have always been pretty unsure of myself, and not that smart. When I really need attention from a man, I just deepthroat him and suck until he likes me. Then I savor and swallow his appreciation while I put my number in his phone. It’s worked for a lot of situations. 

Yes, I’ve lost friends and I have like, a reputation. There’s a few videos floating around on tube sites maybe. But the next time they want to get off they text me with a degrading pet name asking how soon I can be on my knees. Eventually I found a strange emotional comfort in having my pale cheeks all red and covered in spit while my lips stretch around the base of a thick cock. It feels natural. And that sad empty feeling after I swallow and he kicks me out just made me text back faster next time. Feeling emptyy just made it that much more important to make sure men like me. 

And now my brain is so broken that nothing turns me off more than men who treat me with respect. I always end up completely infatuated with some asshole who thinks of me as an on-call blowjob service for him and his friends. 

I really want to talk to men who think of me like an object and want to warp me even further. Mess up my life or my brain. Lend me to friends. Ruin me <3 

A mix of discussion and small paragraphs of RP works better than me than long detailed exchanges. That’s too much for my little brains. Please send your age with the first reply (I'm 25) And please don't pretend to be nice.

kinks: d/s, sloppy head, cum play, balls, groups, rimming, degradation & manipulation, being dumb, anal, pet play, bimbo, stretching, rough sex, being lent out