I hate my cat. I don't want to keep a cat ever again

So, first and foremost, I live with my mother. I love pets. But I've never asked or adopted one of any kind because I know I can't and want to take the responsible of taking care of them. I could barely take care of myself with my bad mental health, being depressed and suicidal.

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It's my mother who took them home, so no one could tell me I'm an irresponsible owner who adopted them but complain.

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We've always only had dogs, I think I prefer dogs. But I also think a cat also be nice, because most dogs I have had is very energetic and demanding my care, love and attention. Sometimes, it was too much, and when my mother took this kitten home 6 months, I feel like I'd prefer the so-call quietness I've ever heard from cats, as I battle with mental health.

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But this cat. It frustrates me so bad. This cat affects me in the negative way.

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The older it is, the worse it behaves. We fed him a lot. Vet told he's fat. But everytime he's inside, he would go sneaking around stealing food. He stole food from the dog dowl, that created fights between him and the dogs a lot.

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When he was younger, he absolutely had no care for my personal boundaries. He would step on my face, all over my body with his sharp claws it really hurt, and he doesn't care. No matter how much I put him down, he would climb back again onto me, sit even on my face. He came in my room at anytime as he pleased, climbing all over me demanding to be petted, he was even more demanding than a dog. He then would sneaking all around my room looking for food. He would come only when he needs something from he, as he finished he left somewhere and some returned when he needed more.

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He's more than 6 months now. He's grown now. We live in a rural area so we let him roam around outside. It's not like I could contain him. He now goes where all day never to be seen, he only shows up when he hears my car or my mother's car coming home, because it's eating time and dissappear never to be seen again.

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There was one time where I was very angry with him sneaking inside my room stealing food, I threw him outside. From then, he got scared of me. I was the one who fed him and played with him the most. But because of that one time he now hates and scares of me. And suddenly he got close to my mother more. After that, my mental health got bad, I'm mentally ill and hospitalized for some attemps. I came home to him being distant and cautious over me, being glued and stick to my mother and doesn't react to my car's sound but only my mother's. But as I took back the feeding, he suddenly didn't care about my mother anymore, didn't care that he used to hate me anymore, he sticks to me now.

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Terrible animal. No loyalty. Never there. Only show up to demand food or something. Doesn't care I got hurt. He makes me feel being used.

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Dogs always make me that I am loved, I'm matter and enough. This cat remind me of how unloved and worthless I am