I dont know what we are.

I love you more than you'll ever know. A quarter of my life i have been committed to you, to making this work. You are my best friend, and im overjoyed we can say we are together.

​

I just wish I took up space in your life. I give and I give and I dont feel like you even look at me anymore. I know your not trying to ignore me. But i feel like you look everywhere but where i am, always talking about want to meet people and have experiences. We experience life together and I feel like you dont care. Maybe you cant care.

​

There's nothing romantic between us anymore, no passion, no spark. And time and time again i bring it to you any you act surprised? I want to make this work but maybe we just aren't the same as we were. I try to be by your side and you dont even look at me and I just dont think I can worship you any longer. I need to be loved. I need to be heard. I need to know someone is there for me.

​

I wish I meant more to you. Maybe that's selfish of me but im okay with that. I want to say ill still be your friend but...I dont think your a good person. Im just tired and i feel like im just waiting for you to cheat or lie and break my heart again.

​

I wish i could talk to you about this. I wish I could know you would listen. I wish your attention wasnt worth everything to me. I just dont think we fit anymore. I dont think you want to fit.

​

Maybe im delusional, or paranoid. Maybe its my fault. I just want to make us work. I wish I was better. I wish I didnt need you.