I love my wife, but her untreated OCD is destroying our family. What can I do?

I have been married for about two years, and we have been together for about four years, including dating. During the time we were dating, I did not notice any significant signs of OCD. The behaviors only seemed to emerge after we moved in together, and they became much worse after the birth of our now 22-month-old son.

I am not sure whether this is OCD alone or a combination of OCD and postpartum-related issues, but it has become extremely difficult for me to cope with. It is affecting my own mental well-being, and I have reached the point where I am seriously considering divorce.

One of the biggest challenges is that my wife does not recognize that anything is wrong. She believes her behaviors and reactions are completely normal. There is also a cultural barrier. She grew up and was raised in Vietnam, where mental health issues are often not openly discussed or accepted. She does not believe she has a mental health condition, does not believe in therapy, and refuses to consider taking any type of medication.

Recently, I started seeing a therapist myself to learn how to cope and how I might better support her. The therapist told me that, ultimately, no one can help someone who does not want help.

The behaviors that concern me most center around an intense fear of dog hair and contamination. She cleans excessively and has isolated herself and our 22-month-old son in the rear addition of our home. Before I can go into that part of the house, I am expected to "decontaminate" myself by washing my feet, washing my hands, and changing my shirt and pants. If I do not follow these routines, it leads to conflict and distress.

For those of you who have OCD yourself or have loved someone with OCD, how did you help them when they did not believe they had a problem? Is there anything I can do before filing for divorce and potentially changing the course of our marriage and my son's future? I love my wife and do not want to give up on our family, but I also do not know how much longer I can continue living this way.