Did I(25M) fail my partner or am I carrying too much blame?

I am a 25-year-old man who recently came out of a 3-year relationship. My ex is 2 years older than me. We both entered the relationship with the intention of getting married someday. The relationship ended because of family issues and ever since then I have been questioning myself constantly. I am posting here because I want honest opinions from women, even if they are difficult to hear. I know I made mistakes. My parents are very traditional. When I finally told them about her, there were months of arguments and resistance. Eventually, both families met. During that meeting, my father made some comments that came across as rude to her family. Looking back, I should have spoken up. I didn’t. I was scared of making the situation worse after spending months convincing my parents to even agree to the meeting. That moment became one of the biggest reasons she felt I didn’t stand up for her.
I understand why that hurt her.

What I struggle with is that after that point, it felt like every conversation became about my failures. She repeatedly told me I ruined her life, that I never loved her, that if I had truly wanted to marry her, I would have made it happen. I genuinely loved her. I fought with my parents, convinced them to meet, got my father to apologise later, repeatedly called her father trying to resolve things, and even travelled to meet him because I couldn’t live with the regret of not trying. Maybe my efforts were not enough. Maybe I acted too late. But they were real. The thing I have never openly talked about is how scared I became of her anger. Whenever she was hurt, her words became extremely harsh. There were times when she got drunk or high and insulted me in front of other people. Once she called my father a “chutiya” in front of a group of people. Another time at a party she mocked me publicly by saying things like, “Isko kuch banana nahi aata, ye kya merese shaadi karega?” I always ignored these incidents because I loved her and because I told myself she wasn’t in the right state of mind. I never confronted her. I kept trying to understand her pain. But lately I have started wondering if she ever understood mine. Whenever she got angry, I would become silent. Not because I didn’t care, but because I was scared that anything I said would become another argument. Unfortunately, my silence then became proof for her that I didn’t love her enough. I know I hurt her. I know she felt abandoned in moments where she needed me to stand up stronger. I accept that. But I also feel like I spent a year carrying all the blame while nobody asked what I was going through.

The main reason I’m posting this here is because this community is made up mostly of women, and right now I’m genuinely confused about everything that happened. I already know if I post this in a general subreddit, a lot of guys will probably relate to my side and favour me. That’s exactly what I’m trying to avoid. I want honest female perspectives, even if they are critical of me.