I feel so stuck.

I (f25) have been with my boyfriend (30m) for seven years. We're not married. We have lived together for six years. Things were fine at the beginning of this relationship, but we argued a lot and tensions were high. He told me I was too needy, so I emotionally distanced myself. Four years ago, something traumatic happened involving a guy, and this significantly ruptured our relationship. It hasn't been the same since.

​

​

My boyfriend does not do well with conflict. When we disagree on something, he stops talking. He won't interact with me. There's this complete shutdown of emotion and expression, and he will sleep until he feels better. I used to cry for hours while he slept, and I wanted affection and comfort but it wasn't there. When the traumatic event happened, I pulled away from affection. I was uncomfortable with it, and I was diagnosed with PTSD.

​

​

So flash forward to now. I want to move out. I think this relationship is unhealthy and shouldn't continue, and my therapist has also encouraged me to leave. But he won't have it. He said he wants to be with me for the rest of his life, and when I talked to him about me finding my own place temporarily, he told his therapist that he doesn't want to live anymore.

​

​

This happened yesterday. He went to his scheduled therapy appointment in crisis. Before that though, he kept telling me reasons why I should stay. Those reasons were mostly for financial convienance, because I earn more money than him and he's worried about the bills. At this point, I don't think he cares about our relationship at all. He just wants me here for the income and stability.

​

​

Yesterday I also found a room for rent and visited the house to see it. I am thinking about living there. Rent is cheap and utilities are included, so I don't want to pass up the opportunity. But now I'm worried about my boyfriend and what he might do in response.

​

​

TL;DR: I am ready to end my relationship of seven years, and my boyfriend is contemplating suicide. He doesn't want me to leave.