I'm scared.

I'm going to be 21 soon, my birthday is just around the corner and i was diagnosed with hashimoto's last year (June). I'm scared, weeks after taking levothyroxine my inflamed thyroid calmed down that it's like i was back to where i didn't have this condition. But lately I noticed that it's becoming visible again and i can feel the anxiety creeping in. It's more prominent at night so when i lie down i feel it more and sometimes i think i'm just being sensitive but looking at it in the mirror, I'm not hallucinating, it's really there, it's visible and now I'm in the bathroom crying. My last visit to the doctor was on December and upto that point all my lab test was okay and i stayed on 75mcg then i started school and i was supposed to go back on March but i got busy and i really couldn't afford it at that time but now i regret it so much, I'm really scared, I'm so young and i already have this condition and i feel like a failure because I can't even keep it under control in one year, I don't want my dosage to get higher, it expensive. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, i just want this sensation of something pressing on my throat to go away, I don't want it, it makes me scared and anxious, i feel like something has a gripped on my neck.