A Plausible Qur'anic Phraseological Proof that 'Idriboohunna in 4:34 is not 'Beat Them'

I have been studying 4:34 over and over now for several months, since my last post on it, and I can confidently say that I have reached a plausible result, using pan-textual phraseological pattern, that whereas "Darb" denotes "strike", and "Idriboohunna" as "Strike them women", it does not denote "Beat them women", and instead denotes to strike discernment or verification in whether these women desire to remain exclusive to their husbands or otherwise, the otherwise being evidence that warrant wariness of "shiqaaq" or "betrayal".

I shall begin.

In the ayah 4:34,

ٱلرِّجَالُ قَوَّٰمُونَ عَلَى ٱلنِّسَآءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ ٱللَّـهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَىٰ بَعْضٍ وَبِمَآ أَنفَقُوا۟ مِنْ أَمْوَٰلِهِمْ فَٱلصَّـٰلِحَـٰتُ قَـٰنِتَـٰتٌ حَـٰفِظَـٰتٌ لِّلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ ٱللَّـهُ وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ ٱللَّـهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا

the khawf or wariness, that is to say, evidence that warrants a fear of something, goes as follows:

وَٱلَّـٰتِى تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ

speaks of wives whose husbands are wary of their Nushooz. In my post on Nushooz, I pan-textually corroborated that Nushooz is a rising development by increments, and in the context of 4:34 is an instigation, or as a commenter on the post said "Marital rebellion", where rebelling is each incremental step of a lack of طاعة to the husband, since the end of 4:34 says:

فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا۟ عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا

informs us that the labored sabeel:

فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ

seek to have these women أَطَعْنَكُمْ, and if they do so don't take a path against them. Therefore, the path against them has to do with a lack of طاعة, and thence the nushooz has to do with the lack thereof.

Here is that post on Nushooz:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Quraniyoon/s/WoAkRvAoqn

So, thus far, to summarize, when husbands are wary of Nushooz of their wives, they are wary of rising increments of a lack of طاعة until it is عظيم and the sabeel they must take to regain said طاعة is:

فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ

The next ayah 4:35 says:

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ شِقَاقَ بَيْنِهِمَا فَٱبْعَثُوا۟ حَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهِۦ وَحَكَمًا مِّنْ أَهْلِهَآ إِن يُرِيدَآ إِصْلَـٰحًا يُوَفِّقِ ٱللَّـهُ بَيْنَهُمَآ إِنَّ ٱللَّـهَ كَانَ عَلِيمًا خَبِيرًا

(4:35)

and begins with the same "khawf" or wariness, but now it is for shiqaaq. This is not divorce, otherwise, it would say "wa in khiftum 't-talaaq", but instead betrayal or cheating or infidelity.

When we look at how shiqaaq is used in 4:115,

وَمَن يُشَاقِقِ ٱلرَّسُولَ مِنۢ بَعْدِ مَا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُ ٱلْهُدَىٰ وَيَتَّبِعْ غَيْرَ سَبِيلِ ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ نُوَلِّهِۦ مَا تَوَلَّىٰ وَنُصْلِهِۦ جَهَنَّمَ وَسَآءَتْ مَصِيرًا

it mention that it from after realizing (tabayyana is a reflexive discernment) to him the guidance and pursuing a sabeel other than that of the faithful, God responds with "Nuwalli ma tawalla", and Qur'anically, "tawalla" is always used to refer to someone who has turned away from God for the worse. In other words, this is someone who has done shirk.

Hence, the next ayah speaks about shirk being unforgiveable:

إِنَّ ٱللَّـهَ لَا يَغْفِرُ أَن يُشْرَكَ بِهِۦ وَيَغْفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَٰلِكَ لِمَن يَشَآءُ وَمَن يُشْرِكْ بِٱللَّـهِ فَقَدْ ضَلَّ ضَلَـٰلًۢا بَعِيدًا

(4:116)

and the next ayah adding that they call to something that is God's lesser:

إِن يَدْعُونَ مِن دُونِهِۦٓ إِلَّآ إِنَـٰثًا وَإِن يَدْعُونَ إِلَّا شَيْطَـٰنًا مَّرِيدًا

(4:117)

Therefore, shiqaaq is not something amicable like divorce, it is betrayal after knowing what's right.

Hence, back to 4:35, shiqaaq is marital infidelity, and nushooz are progressive increments and instances where a lack of طاعة implies طاعة being given to someone else, someone lesser, "min dooni ba'liha"!

Let's move our attention to Chapter 24 for a moment, because at ayah 24:3, God makes a very clear and important categorization or fasl:

ٱلزَّانِى لَا يَنكِحُ إِلَّا زَانِيَةً أَوْ مُشْرِكَةً وَٱلزَّانِيَةُ لَا يَنكِحُهَآ إِلَّا زَانٍ أَوْ مُشْرِكٌ وَحُرِّمَ ذَٰلِكَ عَلَى ٱلْمُؤْمِنِينَ

stating that adulterers can only marry adulterers or mushrikeen, where God places marriability of mushrikeen in the same category as adulterers--because mushriks, like adulterers, betray the covenant of exclusivity of servitude to God alone as do adulterers to their married partners! Hence, we get a very powerful mathal: "Shirk mithlu 'z-Zina".

This mathal, therefore, I realized permeates between ayahs 4:60 to 4:116. I noticed, in fact, that each step of the sabeel:

فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ

is mentioned in order as one reads from 4:60 to 4:115, where 4:115 parallels or is a mathal of 4:35!

So, the mathal for فَعِظُوهُنَّ, is at 4:66,

وَلَوْ أَنَّا كَتَبْنَا عَلَيْهِمْ أَنِ ٱقْتُلُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ أَوِ ٱخْرُجُوا۟ مِن دِيَـٰرِكُم مَّا فَعَلُوهُ إِلَّا قَلِيلٌ مِّنْهُمْ وَلَوْ أَنَّهُمْ فَعَلُوا۟ مَا يُوعَظُونَ بِهِۦ لَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَّهُمْ وَأَشَدَّ تَثْبِيتًا

where Allah uses يُوعَظُونَ when He says وَلَوْ أَنَّهُمْ فَعَلُوا۟ مَا يُوعَظُونَ بِهِۦ لَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَّهُمْ, referring to ٱخْرُجُوا۟ مِن دِيَـٰرِكُم, which is often paired with hijrah and jihaad. The next few ayahs clarify (yubayyin) that:

وَإِذًا لَّـَٔاتَيْنَـٰهُم مِّن لَّدُنَّآ أَجْرًا عَظِيمًا

(4:67)

وَلَهَدَيْنَـٰهُمْ صِرَٰطًا مُّسْتَقِيمًا

(4:68)

and that the next ayah exemplifies heeding the وعظ that Allah gave in 4:66 is طاعة الرسول:

وَمَن يُطِعِ ٱللَّـهَ وَٱلرَّسُولَ فَأُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ مَعَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ ٱللَّـهُ عَلَيْهِم مِّنَ ٱلنَّبِيِّـۧنَ وَٱلصِّدِّيقِينَ وَٱلشُّهَدَآءِ وَٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ وَحَسُنَ أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ رَفِيقًا

(4:69)

where ٱلَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ ٱللَّـهُ عَلَيْهِم is an echo of the last two ayahs of Surat 'l-Faatihah:

ٱهْدِنَا ٱلصِّرَٰطَ ٱلْمُسْتَقِيمَ

(1:6)

صِرَٰطَ ٱلَّذِينَ أَنْعَمْتَ عَلَيْهِمْ غَيْرِ ٱلْمَغْضُوبِ عَلَيْهِمْ وَلَا ٱلضَّآلِّينَ

(1:7)

and a refers backward to ayah 4:67!

Sunnis love to quote 4:66 as corroboration of seeking judgment from Muhammad, but God portrays it as a lesser confirmation of faith because 4:67 introduces that had God kutiba to him the وعظ of ٱقْتُلُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ أَوِ ٱخْرُجُوا۟ مِن دِيَـٰرِكُم, then مَّا فَعَلُوهُ إِلَّا قَلِيلٌ مِّنْهُمْ, yet they seek judgment from the same man who is their messenger?!

It is therefore that seeking judgment from the man that is a lesser confirmation of faith than heeding the وعظ of Allah demonstrates that the former is closer to seeking Taghoot than God, the ayah residing in the context that begins at:

أَلَمْ تَرَ إِلَى ٱلَّذِينَ يَزْعُمُونَ أَنَّهُمْ ءَامَنُوا۟ بِمَآ أُنزِلَ إِلَيْكَ وَمَآ أُنزِلَ مِن قَبْلِكَ يُرِيدُونَ أَن يَتَحَاكَمُوٓا۟ إِلَى ٱلطَّـٰغُوتِ وَقَدْ أُمِرُوٓا۟ أَن يَكْفُرُوا۟ بِهِۦ وَيُرِيدُ ٱلشَّيْطَـٰنُ أَن يُضِلَّهُمْ ضَلَـٰلًۢا بَعِيدًا

(4:60)

after which God tells Muhammad how to deal with them:

أُو۟لَـٰٓئِكَ ٱلَّذِينَ يَعْلَمُ ٱللَّـهُ مَا فِى قُلُوبِهِمْ فَأَعْرِضْ عَنْهُمْ وَعِظْهُمْ وَقُل لَّهُمْ فِىٓ أَنفُسِهِمْ قَوْلًۢا بَلِيغًا

(4:63)

and عِظْهُمْ.

The mathal for ٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ is at:

وَدُّوا۟ لَوْ تَكْفُرُونَ كَمَا كَفَرُوا۟ فَتَكُونُونَ سَوَآءً فَلَا تَتَّخِذُوا۟ مِنْهُمْ أَوْلِيَآءَ حَتَّىٰ يُهَاجِرُوا۟ فِى سَبِيلِ ٱللَّـهِ فَإِن تَوَلَّوْا۟ فَخُذُوهُمْ وَٱقْتُلُوهُمْ حَيْثُ وَجَدتُّمُوهُمْ وَلَا تَتَّخِذُوا۟ مِنْهُمْ وَلِيًّا وَلَا نَصِيرًا

(4:89)

where verification for allyship with the munaafiqeen requires that they:

يُهَاجِرُوا۟ فِى سَبِيلِ ٱللَّـهِ

tell us that is what the faithful do, so to be equal with the faithful, the munaafiqeen must do hijrah to prove they too a genuinely and sufficiently faithful to be allied with the faithful.

And finally, the mathal for ٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ is at:

يَـٰٓأَيُّهَا ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ إِذَا ضَرَبْتُمْ فِى سَبِيلِ ٱللَّـهِ فَتَبَيَّنُوا۟ وَلَا تَقُولُوا۟ لِمَنْ أَلْقَىٰٓ إِلَيْكُمُ ٱلسَّلَـٰمَ لَسْتَ مُؤْمِنًا تَبْتَغُونَ عَرَضَ ٱلْحَيَوٰةِ ٱلدُّنْيَا فَعِندَ ٱللَّـهِ مَغَانِمُ كَثِيرَةٌ كَذَٰلِكَ كُنتُم مِّن قَبْلُ فَمَنَّ ٱللَّـهُ عَلَيْكُمْ فَتَبَيَّنُوٓا۟ إِنَّ ٱللَّـهَ كَانَ بِمَا تَعْمَلُونَ خَبِيرًا

(4:94)

where God says that when the faithful do Darb (to what is not mentioned and syntactically omitted), "fatabayyanu", and don't say to one who casts peace, "Thou art yet faithful, laboring for the materialism of the Worldly Life!" Notice that therefore "tibyaan" is associated with Darb and better yet is the first thing mentioned to do: "realize!", that is to say, "discern for yourself what is from what is not".

In my recent post on "La'allak(h)um tadhakkaroon", it elucidates the function and purpose of ayaatin bayyinatin and tibyan, that it ultimately wants us to reflect:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Quraniyoon/s/FUv5tdVELO

At what instance, therefore, could darb here possibly be argued to mean violence?

Especially since in pan-textual instances of "La'allak(h)um tadhakkaroon", Allah does Darb of 'amthaal is help us drawn distinctions by which we are to reflect and ponder?

And furthermore, that the hijrah and darb is "fi sabeeli illahi", and

فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَٱهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِى ٱلْمَضَاجِعِ وَٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ

is likewise a sabeel that God permits husbands to take if they suspect infidelity, requires the same conduct of "fatabayyanu".

Therefore, to use the mathal drawn from 24:3, "Shirk mithlu Zina", notice just as 100 lashes occurs after requisite proof of adultery, fighting the mushrikeen is after they have "tawaalaw". Therefore, Darb by analogy is a prior process to fighting the mushrikeen, not after and implying lashing. Darb is prior to shiqaaq or betrayal. Darb is done to discern, mithlu 4:94, and in the context of 4:34, to discern whether a husband's wife has desire or proclivity to cheat; therefore also contextualizes طاعة not as "obeisance" but more like "choosing exclusivity to the partner" or "volunteering servitude to her partner"--just as in any loving relationship, partners listen to and choose their partners; just God says that the Children of Israel should have said "Sami'naa wa 'ata'anaa".

Hence, if after doing tibyaan, husband become wary of shiqaaq, 4:35 says to bring an arbiter from his household and an arbiter from her household--the term for "arbiter" is "hakaman" and "hakama" denotes restraint from harm, i.e., to bring in people to assist in setting the correct bounderies, since tahkeem is something that is inherently decisive, such as ayaatin muhkamaatin are the mother of the Kitaab, which term is also used to refer to the accord written between partners for the binding of their marriage. If both parties desire sulh, that requires going into the details and stipulations of the marriage, speaking to each other their needs and what is not acceptable--in other words, the boundaries of the marriage, the hukoom of the marriage, its foundation.

To wrap everything together, the latter half of 4:34 is about a fear of infidelity on the part of women, subsequent to progressing increments in a lack of listening and choosing their husbands within the context of marriage, implicating that their women might instead be going to someone else to resolve their "shajar" (as per mithlu 4:65). God offers the sabeel that men should يُوعَظُونَ to their women ٱقْتُلُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ أَوِ ٱخْرُجُوا۟ مِن دِيَـٰرِكُم (as per mithlu 4:66) in order to strengthen (yuthabbit) the trust (faith) in their marriage between them as opposed seeking tasleem by having their husbands conclude their shajar (as per mithlu 4:65), which leads to doing hijrah in the lay-places and is a form of tibyaan or separation. Note, I believe that ٱقْتُلُوٓا۟ أَنفُسَكُمْ is not literal but metaphor perhaps for "be hard on yourselves" or "self-regulate". Said separation perhaps is the require space between that's needed to determine what is needed and what is not needed, and the same kind of space couples take in order to reflect in a typical relationship. And finally that when men strike women, it denotes to swiftly return to them after the separation of hijrah that hopefully yield realization, that they verify (said realization) without disregarding her when she casts peace and saying to her "you still don't trust me, distracted by other matters" (as per mithlu 4:94), "fatabayyanu". And if yet thereafter, husband realize potential shiqaaq instead of sulh, both partners, if desiring sulh, may bring arbiters from each of their household to remind them of the muhkamaat of the kitaab of their marriage, reflecting over the ayaatin bayyinaatin that discern what is good for the marriage from what is bad, and ayaatin mufassilaatin that set categorical limits that define any gray areas "bayna yadayhi" or between the scope of what is good and bad.

I hope this post made sense. I have been thinking about it for quite some time. These are my inferences. I am not taking a final stance here, but I do find some of what I've been pondering plausible. As always, welcome to critiques. Salaam.