how do i stop myself [22f] from destroying my relationship? [29m]

i know its me, it's nothing he's ever done it's just me

i know im not his ideal type, and im learning that to most men that doesnt matter and i can accept that fact

but the thought keeps coming up of settling

and i know realistically i need to abandon it and im trying

but the only thought im having is:

'well, we're both settling, me for a guy who isnt as attracted to me as he could be and him for a girl he doesn't find as appealing as others'

we've talked about me not being his ideal type before (hes never brought it up himself or rubbed it in my face but is honest when asked) but it always circles back to my personality and i feel like im just a friend that he has sex with and it kinda hurts

i see my friends have passionate whirlwind romances with guys who are obsessed with them but thats never happened to me before

and i cant shake the desire of wanting that for myself, but i love my boyfriend and i want this to work so i need to abandon that idea and the other ones listed above

any advice?

tldr: i feel like both me and my boyfriend are settling, him for a girl hes not as attracted to as he could be and me for a man who doesnt like me as much as he could