am i depressed

Hi there, I'm 17, and I think I'm depressed. I lost around 20pounds in 2 weeks. I started to hate myself, and I stopped eating normally; even if I'm hungry, I don't want to eat. I stopped talking to all my friends. I stopped trying. I love games, but I stopped that, too. I wanted to kill myself multiple times, and if I try to talk to my parents, they will definitely guilt-trip me. I lost the spark in my life. I'm sleeping for 10 to 12 hrs everyday. I got into a good college, but I still feel numb.

My parents bought me a laptop, but I still feel numb. I genuinely want to kill myself, but don't have the courage. i Wish i didnt take PCM. I hate my life.