At an all time low

I'm in a really dark lonely place right now. I've just had medication rejected once again as "they need to protect the supply for people who need it" (I said I had one slip left - 10 pills and a prescription takes on average 5/6 days to be ready).

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Essentially they think I'm drug seeking even though I've been on a consistent dose for years with no increase (it is fairly high admittedly).

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Ovulation is hell. I need a full dose of cocodamol and high strength ibuprofen to function for around 5 days. Outside of this in the days leading into my period I need a lower dose, usually 4 tablets a day (morning and night) more the closer it gets back into 7 days of full dose including through the night. About 3 days after my period I have a wonderful few days where I wake up with no urge or need to take anything then straight back into Ovulation hell. A prescription of 100 tablets disappears quite quickly.

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I've tried increasing doses of amitriptyline - very little to no help. Contraception doesnt work and comes with other side effects.

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I'm looking into a full hysterectomy (I'm 33 and saw myself having children but that's outweighed by having no quality of life).

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I'm sick of not being believed. I'm sick of feeling helpless. I can't afford to take time off work as I live alone/support myself and need overtime to pay my bills.

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I'll now be without pain relief during the most intense pain period.

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Can I go to a&e? Without pain management I get lightheaded and nauseous and cannot stand with the pain. Will they help me with emergency pain assistance which I'll likely need in about 3 days time? Will out of hours help? Or will I just be labelled a drug seeker?

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I have no family around who could take me so I'd need to get myself there so I don't know how I'd even manage that.

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I can't live this way anymore.

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Brief history.

First lap/ diagnosis 2017 - told before hand if endo was found it would be removed. It was found and not removed and instead I had to suffer a medically induced menopause which didn't help. I kept bleeding until month 3 when they gave up.

Second lap - excision followed by two years of relief.

Third lap - handled horribly, told no endometriosis present which would infer the second lap removed every single piece and it hadn't returned in 5 years which seeing as how intense my symptoms are becoming made no sense.