I don’t know how to have a normal relationship. His online habits make me feel completely worthless.

I’ve never had normalcy in my life, period. No normal friends, no normal relationships, nothing. I’ve been in therapy on and off since I was 6 years old, and my brain just functions in pure black and white. It’s exhausting. I either love someone to the point of obsession, or I completely shut down and feel totally indifferent.

Because of this, I’m drowning in my current relationship. My partner looks at other people online (women and others), and it completely triggers my not good enough complex. I take it so personally, like he’s actively trying to hurt me or show me what I lack.

I’m stuck in a loop of trying to figure out who the issue is. Am I toxic for letting this destroy my self esteem because of my own mental health battles? Or is he being disrespectful? Has anyone else with severe all or nothing thinking dealt with this? How do you cope?