The fire elsewhere (repost)

That night I awoke as heat crept up my stomach

Threw off the covers and crawled up to the window

This was no nightmare, but a burning man running

The embers were snowing on a cold dreary day

I heard my folks’ windows slam down to home base

But for the zombie I was, oh, I could not resist

And I trudged ten miles to what seemed to be bliss

.

Through the flicker of Hell that I saw from above,

Oh, I felt it when I touched the flaming hot boughs

And I fell into deep sleep; there was nothing wrong

No, there was nothing better, I know that for one

There I danced on rings of big rocks and big belts

Orbiting ‘round a planet whose name I don’t know

It had fifty odd moons suspended from its core

Some scratched up, some tarnished, no white flag in sight

And that’s when I realized I know what I don’t

.

When I woke up, the path home was empty and long

That good dream dissolved like sugar on my tongue

When I crawled to the table, the wood was so cold

And they all seemed to know that there was

something wrong,

Well, they kissed me and said, “we’re all you’ve got

for now. And ever and ever, the more you become

A grotesque unbecoming, becoming unloved

Where you walk all you like but we follow you home

Say, you’ve got to watch us, take care of us ‘cause

We’ve got no one else, now remember this ‘cos:

Just ‘cause you’re clean, it don’t mean a damn thing

I know your hands are dirty, and dirty they’ve been

I’ve kept palms on your eyes, so I’ve seen what
you’ve seen

And now I see a daughter, with no chance at life,

Except the boughs and the fire that your ilk has lit

I know I am trouble, and you come from trouble

But now you are trouble, and I can’t temper it”

.

(Wait, don’t clean up your hands

Come burn here instead,

Don’t leave us for dead, we’re all that we have

And before you forget, need I remind you

Don’t go — do not go —

please don’t leave me alone)

.

I told her, “Ma I want life, and I need a new hope”

She said, “You look out your window, but don’t live in your home”

Then she throttled that doorknob, tried to rip it off

And my whole life flashed straight through the hole of my skull

Then her hand cramped and crumpled, a babe on my floor

I stared at her panicked, and tried to help her up

But she thrashed and she wailed for all she loved and lost

Said she knows what I’m made of and so does our God

Said “You’ve made your mind and you know what you want and

You don’t look behind you when I come undone

So don’t you dare bother me if you decide to run

I love you, don’t leave me, but leave me you should

— Forget what I’m saying, just send me a prayer

Or just kill me and gut me like a rotten old pig

Stick me on a skewer, toss what’s left in the sewer

Whatever you want, just hurry and do it

And go”

.

Now ten years have passed since fate brandished her knife

The night was all quiet, save crackling fire

I stared at the embers, nearly flickered out

‘Til my dull head had shot up, don’t know why or how

But the moonlight wove patterns in the whites of my eyes

Where the Sun’s reflection shines bright on old shadows

And the shadows formed shapes that looked just like her face

They said, “I can’t understand and don’t think that I could,

I’ve seen you in no life but the Hell of my Heaven

And I’ll fall back to Earth when I reach level seven

Where the fire is hot and it keeps us all warm

And the Sun can burn you much more than I could

‘Cause I can’t leave you alone, though I never once tried

You’re the one I live for, can’t believe you’re not mine

‘Cause the stars we looked up at were a myriad of colours

I had seen them before in my rusty old fetters but

Then came a moment where my heart had

stopped,

saw your name in the sky: big and bright,

so much better

And the rage in my chest had no fuel to restart

Because that name is a name that I do not

remember.

Now I told you once, and I’ll say it forever:

Just go.”

/

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/VlSgct8p72\](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/VlSgct8p72)

[https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/RPKmGLbwF0\](https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/RPKmGLbwF0)