My mom does not know what an apology is unless she wants someone to apologize to her

All my childhood my mom has been venting to me when I was a little girl about how horrible my dad is.

"How can he treat a human like this?! How can he promise me things for years and then claim 'I never promised you anything!'"

"How can he insult me and hit me and spread lies about me and then say: 'You deserved it.' or 'Youre making this up, I never did it.'"

"And when I show him proof, he yells and threatens me."

"Every normal person would come to me and apologize on his knees for years without anyone having to tell him that he has to apologize. And one apology is not enough, for what he did for YEARS, he has to beg for forgiveness a hundred times!"

"I would NEVER treat anyone like that, not even my worst ENEMY!"

All of this was said by my mom, who treats me like this every day...

She also always complained about his insincere apologies and said he does not mean them and just says says "Sorry!" but he does not regret anything and thinks now everything is okay again.

My mom sabotaged me, hit me, spread lies about me, insulted me, threatened me, ruined my life and my health and almost killed me but she never once apologized on her own.

Then I had to beg for an apology for years and argue with her until she said with an angry insulted petulant voice and a face that looked and sounded as if it is so hard for her to choke the words out: "I did not do anything wrong but: Sorry!" After that she looked at me as if I am despicable.

Then she ranted that she would have never ever forced her mother to apologize and what a bad entitled daughter I am.

I had to fight more for her to agree that she did something wrong after a few hours. I dont believe that she really thinks she did something wrong, otherwise I would not have to fight to make her see it while she accuses me of lying.

At first I thought that she had psychosis and that it was because of her psychosis. But actually she never apologized even once since I was born. Every time she did something to me it was my fault or someone elses fault or i "deserved it" or it did not happen and then she made me feel bad for accusing her of things she "did not do" and then she was the victim. It was always like that.

Also if she felt like I did something to her, I had to apologize to her on my own several times until she even considered talking to me again.

So she actually knows exactly how to apologize, otherwise she would not expect my dad to apologize like this to her. But when she does something to me she acts as if she doesnt know what an apology is.

It took me way to long to realize that my enabler mother is a narcissist herself because she controlled the narrative around her person very tightly every day and brainwashed me what to think about her.

I hope I cose the right flair? Feel free to say something about my mom and also feel free to say something about your own nparent.