AIW for expecting my husband to clean up after himself in the kitchen?

I realize that's kind of a click bait sounding title, but it is the genuine question I am posing.

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**A bit of background:**

My husband and I are in our 40s, are happily married, and have been together half our lives. We have a solid split of chores and home maintenance tasks, but I am the primary cook of the family. He does cook at least one dinner a week, makes coffee every morning, and also makes Sunday breakfast. Our home is a semi open floor plan and like most, the kitchen is the hub and widely viewable so I like to keep it clean mostly for my own sake so I don't have to spend extra time cleaning before I cook dinner and then have to clean up again, but also because I value a clean home. Clutter and messes legitimately stress me out.

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**The problem:**

Any time he does anything in the kitchen, he leaves a mess behind him, which I inevitably clean up. There are rare occasions where he actually does the dishes and cleans his mess, but I almost alway do it for him because it will sit otherwise, which means I clean them the next time I'm in the kitchen cooking. Whenever he makes coffee and grinds the beans, he leaves the grounds on the counter. If he makes himself a drink in the evening, he leaves whatever spills or drips behind (red wine rings, etc.). He does, of course help with dishes from time to time and also regularly loads and runs the dishwasher... But leaving his mess behind is still a daily occurrence, even if it's just coffee grounds all over the counter.

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I am not a passive-aggressive person, nor am I a nag. I make it a point not to harp on him but every once in a while, I will express frustration about having to constantly clean up after him. This, in turn, makes him defensive and irritated because he feels like I am picking on him or being unreasonable when I feel like cleaning up after yourself is just the way it should be. This is especially frustrating because this is something we both teach and expect of our teenage son, but somehow it's too much for my husband to do? Wiping the counters off is seriously a 30 second task and I think it is incredibly rude and entitled to leave the dishes until someone can get to them, knowing full well that someone wilo be me because I will likely be cooking the next dinner. If you make a mess, you clean it up. It's really just that simple... Except for when my husband is doing anything in the kitchen. I'm so incredibly frustrated.

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