Feeling dismissed, controlled in my home, and emotionally drained — need perspective. I’m 29F my partner 41M

I’m not always sure how to explain this clearly, but I feel like I’m slowly losing confidence in my own perception of things and I need outside perspective.
I live with my partner and we have young children together. One of the children (age 3) is my partner’s from a previous relationship, but I am the primary caregiver for all of the children and handle most of the day-to-day parenting and household responsibilities.
Over time, I’ve started to feel like my needs, opinions, and concerns are consistently dismissed, minimized, or turned back on me.
Some examples of what this looks like:
When I brought up concerns about our 3-year-old’s speech and whether we should look into it, my partner dismissed it by saying he was the same as a child and that everything is fine, rather than discussing it with me.
When I express that I feel hurt or unheard, I’m often told that I also “talk badly” to him, even though it usually happens after he speaks to me in a sharp or dismissive tone. The focus always shifts to my reaction instead of what led to it.
We had a disagreement about a TV in the bedroom. I use it at night to unwind after long days with the kids. He removed it and said if I want to watch TV at night I should move into another room because he doesn’t want it in “his room.”
In general, I feel like decisions about shared spaces, routines, and the household are made unilaterally, and I’m expected to adjust rather than there being any real compromise.
There are also other dynamics that add to my confusion. Sometimes he will drink heavily and become black-out drunk, even during the daytime. When he is sober, he tends to be very critical and speaks in a more “righteous” or morally superior way toward me. He also uses religion in conversations in a way that makes me feel guilty or like I am doing something wrong when I disagree or express frustration.
When I try to bring up that I feel unheard, it often turns into me being told I need to “admit” I also communicate badly, and that if I don’t acknowledge that, I’m the problem. I end up feeling like I can’t address issues without it turning into blame toward me.
I’m not perfect and I know I can get defensive when I feel dismissed, but I’m starting to feel like there’s a pattern where my concerns are consistently redirected away from the issue and back onto my reaction.
I’m feeling really emotionally exhausted and confused, and I’m starting to question my own judgment in conversations.
I guess I’m looking for perspective on whether this sounds like a communication issue that I need to handle differently, or a more consistent pattern of emotional invalidation or control that I’m not seeing clearly?