The girl that ended things 6 weeks ago follow me back on Instagram and I think I realise why she ended things after I started seeing some else

I had met a girl on hinge back in the middle of April, and we started out super hot and lasted until the middle of June. Talked on the phone everyday, saw each other a couple of times, and overall built a connection. The full story is on my profile if you are so inclined to read more about it, but it basically went like this: we had a great last week together of seeing each other, talking, making plans for the future, talking about things we want to do together and just laughing and genuinely enjoying each other; she even finally said to me that she thinks I’m the “whole package”. She goes to visit a friend, texts me in the morning, tried calling me later that night, I can’t answer her call and we agree that I’ll call her later. She doesn’t answer, I don’t hear from her until way later saying she fell asleep and then she messages me later the next day that she is no longer interested in pursuing this because she doesn’t ‘rly’ feel a connection. She said I was great and really enjoyed me. I was confused and lost, and tbh, heartbroken.

I eventually chalked it up to life, stayed sad for a little bit and rekindled a relationship with another girl I had met a few months prior that I unfortunately ghosted the first time. I met her a week after the first girl ended things and I was looking for a distraction and someone to hangout with. We went out that night and we were both into each other. Since then we have really started a relationship of sorts. We see each other multiple times per week, do a bunch of different things together and enjoy each others company. She’s a great girl and I like her, but here’s the problem: I feel suffocated, claustrophobic and trapped.

I have been seeing this new girl for a little over 4 weeks, similar in length to the previous girl, and she is moving extremely fast. She knows I had just had things ended with a girl I really liked and we keep talking about how fast we are moving and how I would like some more time, but she is just not letting up. I don’t want to use the term, but she is very much love bombing, and it’s extremely overwhelming. She wanted me to fly to her hometown when she’s home visiting her family so I can meet her parents at week 3. One of the problems with this new girl is that she is a fresh divorcee, so it almost feels like she is trying to speed run her way back into a marriage. I’m just not ready for that right now. I have been very honest with this new girl and open, but then she just gets upset with me and says I have commitment issues. I laid it out pretty clear for her in the beginning and she was understanding, but now she blames me for her falling for me and it’s just a lot because I haven’t made it as far as her yet.

The first girl had pretty much always been the back of my mind during this 4 weeks, but up until recently, it’s been really bad, and as I am sitting here stressing out how I am feeling; and then it hit me like a freight train. This is exactly what I was doing to the other girl, and honestly - I don’t blame her for ending things. It just makes sense, because one day I am planning more things to do with this girl, and then a 24 hours later I feel like there is no connection and I find myself really wanting to end things with this new girl. I realise now that I was very much love bombing the other girl because I was also really into her and have no doubt that I made her feel overwhelmed and stressed.

To make matters worse, I was scrolling through instagram and the first girl came up under “people you may know” and I click on follow kinda hoping that she wouldn’t accept it so I know I can just move on, but she did and requested to follow me back. She hasn’t liked any posts or anything but has viewed my stories.

I am now sitting here the last few days just realising more that I miss everything about the other girl. How much more low pressure it was, casual, easier, the conversations were more conversation than one sided, how she would actually listen to me talk and not talk over me, how we had more in common, the list goes on.

I am really debating on whether or not to reach back out to the other girl and just share with her what I realised and how feel recently, but I know that’s probably not the right way to go about things. Part of me feels like she still misses me because I believe there was a connection. I had already tried reaching out to ask her if we could talk about it a couple days after her first text, but I don’t want to embarrass myself. But this whole (as stupid as it sounds) with her following me back makes it seem like she isn’t 100% done with me. I’m not sure I can commit to this new girl as much as she wants me to right now and I want to try and rekindle what I had with the other girl. I keep thinking about how I just want to pick her up and drive around town with her and listen to music like we use to.

Lastly, this whole thing make me feel like a bad and shitty person and that’s added to the increase stress.

Any thoughts from the guys or girls is appreciated. Feel free to ask any questions.

Thanks for reading!