I can see the red flags, so why can’t I stop missing him?

TL;DR: Reconnected with an old flame after 8 years. Over 2.5 months he told me I was “home,” that he had thought about me for years, and that we were meant for something bigger. After we finally met, he became distant, sexual, and inconsistent. I ended it 5 weeks ago, yet I still feel like I’m going through withdrawal despite us never having a real relationship or becoming intimate. Looking for insight from people who have experienced love bombing, trauma bonds, or narcissistic relationships because I’m struggling to understand why I can’t let go. The fact that this only lasted 2.5 months and never became physical is what confuses me the most.

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I honestly don’t know where to start because I’m so confused about myself.
I’m married and have a young child. Earlier this year, an old flame from 8 years ago reappeared. Back then we had amazing chemistry through Tinder, but we never actually met, so it always felt unfinished.

He was married with two children and told me he was unhappy in his marriage. We started talking again and quickly became very close. We talked for hours every day and the connection felt intense. At the same time, there was always a part of me that felt it was almost too good to be true.

He told me he had thought about me for 8 years, that I felt like home, that we were meant for something bigger, and that he wanted me in his life no matter what.
During this time, he left his wife. (not because of me)
I became deeply attached to him, but also increasingly confused. We even took a two-week break because I wanted to understand whether this was really about him or whether something deeper was going on with me.
When we reconnected, we eventually met for a walk. Nothing physical happened - no kiss, no sex - but the chemistry felt incredibly intense and the goodbye was unlike anything I’ve experienced before.

After that, everything changed. He became much more sexual, and when I asked him directly whether this was really all about sex, he became angry and distant. Suddenly his actions no longer matched his words. I felt pushed away, confused and heartbroken, and this hot-and-cold dynamic continued for around 1,5 week.
The final straw came when he messaged me:“Are we going to see each other again soon, my girl? 😘*”* By that point I knew this situation wasn’t good for me anymore, so I ended things with what I felt was a kind and respectful goodbye message.
His response was simply:
“Received. Take care.” Then he deleted me everywhere.
A few weeks later he sent me a Snapchat request and then deleted it again when I didn’t respond. Last weekend I unexpectedly saw him at a concert with 35,000 people, and ever since then I feel like I’ve been thrown right back into the pain.

What confuses me most is that this lasted only about 2.5 months. We never properly dated.
We were never intimate.
We never even had a real relationship.
Yet here I am, 5 weeks after ending contact, feeling like I’m going through withdrawal.

Part of me genuinely believes I experienced love bombing, intermittent reinforcement, trauma bonding, or some kind of narcissistic dynamic. The intensity, the big promises, the emotional highs, the sudden distancing, and how attached I became all feel very familiar when I read about those experiences.

Another part of me worries that he was actually a good person, that it was all real, and that I’ve walked away from something important.

What makes this even harder is that I now find myself questioning my marriage and my entire life, while at the same time feeling embarrassed that a 2.5-month emotional connection could affect me this much.
I feel SO naive, stupid, foolish and just like I have ruined my whole life.

Most of all, I don’t understand why someone I was never even truly with still has such a hold on me.
Has anyone experienced something similar? Can a connection this short really leave you feeling this attached and confused?

Please be kind. I already feel foolish enough. I’m not looking for judgment - I just want to understand what happened to me and how to finally move forward.