Triggered by childless couples having fun

Typing that out sounds ridiculous, but hear me out.

I’ve come to terms with the life I have now as a parent for the most part. It’s stressful and not usually fun, but I try to accept it. But one thing that always pulls me back into that deep hole of self pity is seeing childless couples out in the community. Like yesterday, we brought the kids out to dinner and the park. While the kids were playing, a couple came to the park and were tossing a frisbee back and forth. And it just blew my mind.

I couldn’t imagine just deciding to come to the park with my husband and play a bit of frisbee, just because it sounded like a fun thing to do. They didn’t come because they needed to do SOMETHING to keep the kids busy or they would go crazy. No packing up water bottles, snacks, strollers, extra clothes etc. No negotiating with screaming kids to get in the car, put on shoes, or use the bathroom so we can leave. No problem solving the kids fighting over a toy or bothering each other because one touched the other. No meltdowns in the car on the way home and being subjected to 20 minutes of being trapped in a small space while someone screams as loud as they can. No planned activities to just make it through the weekend alive and sane, but mentally and physically exhausted. Just two people doing something together just because it felt ENJOYABLE. They aren’t just surviving. They are choosing to do things just because it gives them a little joy.

Seeing couples at the zoo, out on a walk, hanging at the beach etc. always does this to me. I just can’t imagine a life where you can do things solely for your own enjoyment. And it makes me so so sad to think that I don’t enjoy anything for myself anymore. What kind of life is this?