My Brain Is Tired

I’m 24HLM, and have been dating my gf 23LLF for 5 years now. Sex was always so good for both of us for the first 3ish years. My gf suddenly started having pain during sex and has since been checked out by a doctor. The conclusion was that she has trouble relaxing her pelvic floor/muscles. She got a dilator and a list of exercises to help with this issue and try and return to normal sex. Except we haven’t tried having sex ONCE since then. That was a year ago. I have been living in misery ever since. Not mad at my gf for the pelvic floor issue (I’ve done alot of research and this seems to be more common for women than I realized). I’ve been so understanding and was working with her at the beginning to work through the physical issues (Lots of massages, foreplay, oral as long and as much as she wanted) but this stopped completely. My girlfriend no longer seems to enjoy my touch, or my compliments and always makes faces when I call her beautiful or when I grab her butt when passing by. Some days I can’t help but tear up laying down next to her because I feel so rejected and unseen. I’ve read a lot of opinions from women on other threads and they mention that initiating intimacy with women doesn’t start in the bed room, it starts earlier in the day with breakfast in bed, getting the kids ready for school, random “just because” flowers, washing the dishes. The other day I surprised her with some beautiful summer flowers, and some of her favorite candies. I brought it over to her and she thanked me and kissed me profusely. “Finally, maybe she’ll want to do something tonight” is what I thought. Am I wrong for thinking this? Is it wrong that I thought these flowers and candies would make my chances greater?

We finished watching a movie in bed later that night. I began kissing her hands softly, then her neck, all the while my hand was sliding into the front of her underwear. “OKAY ALREADY” she said as she turned around to give me her back. What I felt in that moment is a perfect representation of the last year of my life. I get it, sex is uncomfortable and even painful for you, but can’t I get you off in other ways? Not to mention, I haven’t received any attention in OVER a year. Not even a kiss below my lips.

We don’t talk about sex often and when I make a sexy comment or even a sexual joke I get treated like I’m a creep. She did mention to me that she still masturbates and quite often. For some reason my feelings were hurt? It almost proved to me that she does have a normal libido and it’s just me she doesn’t want to be sexual with.

How can I help myself here? I fantasize ALL DAY about sex, I have gotten so irritable and feel my connection with her slipping by the day. Family events, problems at work, why should I even care?