Coming out to family

After the past few years of thinking about it, I'm pretty sure I want to transition, and I am looking into starting private healthcare soon, I'm 21 MTF.

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About two years ago I already kind of came out to my Dad, when I told him I "might be trans" and said I would speak to a doctor, but then afterwards put it off for 2 years out of fear. He said he would always love and support me no matter what, but then voted reform a few days after because "the labour guy didn't live locally" I told him not to tell anyone else about me telling him, and presumably he didn't, and I don't even 100% know if he knows what being trans means, we have never discussed it since. He might not even remember. At the time, he said to speak to my stepmother/sister since they knew more about it than he did, but I did not at the time.

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I have a very small family with basically just my Grandad, my Dad, my stepmother, and stepsister. I imagine my Grandad will just be confused and is unlikely to be supportive. My Dad, I don’t know. My stepmother is equally impossible to gauge. My stepsister is the most likely to be supportive (90%), and might be able to help argue my case, but she doesn't always get through to my stepmother, and it feels unfair to expect her to argue on my behalf.

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I'm looking into going onto a waiting list for private soon and want to start HRT soon. But I don't know when and how to tell my family members. My friend has recently come out as trans too, coincidentally, and my family don't know yet, I've avoided mentioning it to avoid the awkward conversation, I also dont want them thinking I've copied her (don't know how likely this is though).

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How should I tell them, is it better to say early or wait until I'm on a waiting list or have been diagnosed or am on HRT? Part of me is still unsure that I am trans, as dumb as it might sound, and I don’t want anyone to grasp onto that when I tell them. I'm half tempted to tell my stepsister individually, but I feel bad forcing her to keep a big secret, and some people are obviously uncomfortable doing so.