ADHD or BPD pls enlighten me?

Generally, I completely cut off and bury people who don't fit the principles I've set in my own mind at their slightest mistake, or if they do fit them, I worship them like a god. In fact, the last person I fell in love with—was someone who met these standards. I also have a chronic, severe feeling of emptiness and shame, a problem with not being able to stay idle, and getting extremely bored. I drink alcohol constantly and sometimes even cut my self to avoid these feelings or to ignore this problem. I don't know how to put it, but I constantly drink alcohol. I take stimulants, take drugs. This is also frowned upon by those around me. And because of this habit of either devaluing people or valuing them way too much, I have almost no one left around me. For the last 8 months, my entire circle of friends has changed. I am usually completely alone. I also feel that my emotional cycle and mood swings are rapid. My question is, are these symptoms sufficient for a borderline diagnosis? Or is this ADHD? I was diagnosed with ADHD before, but when I used ADHD medications, they caused an addiction in me. Also, when I took them, I would feel like a god for 30 seconds. Then for the next 2 minutes, I felt disgusting and wanted to die. Of course, in the following 2 minutes, I would feel like a god again. Because of this, I stopped taking stimulant medications, but I still use them secretly sometimes for an instant hit of dopamine, just to overcome that feeling of emptiness. I cant take it anymore, the feeling of shame and emptyness is fuckin killing me