I don't know how to title this, uhhh im really stuck rn. and sad

lately i've been really struggling with the truth that ill never be able to do certain things that a cis person would (specifically reproductive thingys) and it makes me really sad. I really just want to be a normal person and live a normal life . I also struggle a lot with internalised transphobia, i've been trying to convert myself for a long time and give-up/failed horribly. my family is conservative christians and they don't support me, they literally tell my friends off for using my (preferred)name. sorry this feels like a rant or something. I don't know what to do with myself anymore regarding all of this