I been feeling left out by my close and best friends

I feel (17F) left out by everyone (Mostly 17F) even my closet and best friends

I've felt this way since 8th grade. It's like I'm standing in a circle, but everyone is looking past me. Even when I'm right there.

I try so hard to make sure no one feels alone. I invite people in. I check on them. I remember their birthdays and their bad days. I do everything I can to be a good friend.

But when it's my turn? I'm the one left behind.

It hurts the most with my best friends. The ones I've known for years. The ones I thought would never make me feel this way. But they do. They make plans in front of me. They forget to text me back. They have inside jokes I'm not part of. And I just stand there pretending it doesn't sting.

I love them. All of them. Old friends, new friends, my duo, everyone. I really do. That's why this cuts so deep. Because I'm not angry at them. I'm just sad. And confused. And tired of feeling invisible.

Sometimes I want to break down and just ask them, "Why do you keep leaving me out? What did I do wrong?" But I'm scared. I'm so scared that if I say something, they'll pull away even more. And then I'll really have no one.

So I stay quiet. I smile. I laugh when everyone else laughs. And then I go home and wonder why I'm never enough to be kept around.

Tl;Dr I feel like I'm being pushed away by my closes friends and best friends who I've known since I was. A kid